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Tuesday, April 30, 2002

April Snow Showers

It's April people and we had a winter storm watch this weekend. Not right

Monday, April 29, 2002

Visual Candy

And for your viewing pleasure... the movies page now features a sound bite from Emily's First Communion choir and Kati showing us what a bunny does. Check them out!

Friday, April 26, 2002

Emily's First Communion

This is my favorite picture from Emily's First Communion.

Chasing a white ball with dimples

Went golfing yesterday for "fun" night. There is nothing fun about golfing in 45 mph wind and 40 degree weather. It did give us a chance to use our new clubs though and for me to realize that I perhaps shouldn't be allowed on the course. Yikes. Today I got tickets to John Mellencamp in July!! I can't wait! Rob & Heather are joining us. Well, I'm off to my pink house.
Love & Quiet Sneezes,

Wednesday, April 24, 2002

Return to MN

Well we're back! We stayed at the La Quinta in Merryville, IN. We had breakfast at the Bob Evans Café and started motoring at about 10am. We got to Ed's Golf Shack at about 2pm. We shared a few laughs regarding my golf swing and I ended up with a new set of clubs; Kelly with a new driver and a 3-wood. Ed gave us a hell of a deal even though my credit card made him jump through a few hoops before authorizing the charge. I guess card services didn't expect me to be charging so much in cow-town :) We rolled into Minneapolis at about 8pm. The clubs are ready for play although I didn't unwrap the 4, 6, 8 or 9 iron. I know I know. Kelly told me it's sac religious to go onto a course with wrapped golf clubs. I'll cross that bridge when I must. I'm still catching up on e-mails & work but I plan to start working on the SC pictures soon!! Congratulations to Emily on her First Communion! She was absolutely adorable.

Saturday, April 20, 2002

South Carolina

Hi from SC! We left on Thursday at 5:30 and got into town on Friday at about noon eastern time. The drive wasn't too bad but we slept well last night. Lynn & Wayne took us out to Miyabi's - a nice Japanese restaurant where they cook in front of you. We also spent time with Chris & Sheryl and the kids. Today we went to CJ's soccer game and spent some time soaking up some sun. It's in the 80's again today. I hear it was in the 40's in MN with a chance of snow. Hahahahahhaha. Well, enjoy the snow while we enjoy some margaritas.

Wednesday, April 17, 2002

Today is Special Because:

  • I was awake and out of bed at 6:30am and at work before 7:30am
  • I was consoled by the bagel guy who noticed that choosing 12 bagels had been ---stressful for me
  • I have a new boss
  • My hair dried before I got to work
  • I'm eating animal crackers

  • Tuesday, April 16, 2002

    Fired for Blogging

    Blogger features a 10 most recently updated blogs list and a featured blog list that I check out once in awhile. I can't remember who was the referring site (sorry), but through a blog, I found Dooce.com. The owner of the blog had actually been fired from her job because of things she had written on her personal webpage. How can this happen? She hadn't named any names or said anything derogatory towards any specific person. Any sane person would know that some events would be exaggerated for the purpose of making the story more interesting. To salt the wound, one of the people who fired her had helped her write some of the entries! I think I remember a news story about a husband and wife who were both RN's at a well-known hospital. Their employers were trying to find a way to get rid of them because in their spare time they had web cams set up in their homes and were moonlighting as do it yourself at home porn stars. I remember specifically that they couldn't fire them because you can't control someone's personal life unless it is a conflict of interest. Anyway, so then I decide to check out Loriloo only to find that some of her students stumbled upon her blog and she's having second thoughts about keeping it. It is a sticky situation - I mean no one wants to censor themselves, but sometimes the pain of not biting the bullet can be much worse than keeping things private. Last I'd read she was considering not using people's real names. It's hard enough to be a teacher, I can't imagine how difficult it would be to teach without having the respect of your students. Sometimes you do just have to do the right thing. (BTW: I'm not implying that Lori's anecdotes deem her disrespect-able [on the contrary!] but that some people have strange ways of interpretation)

    And so I reflect. Since this website was created mainly for mine and Kelly's families, naturally I'm a little more careful about what I write. Sometimes I wish I didn't feel like I have to, but lets face it my life is admittedly pretty PG - it's not like I have to leave out many details! So now do I have to watch what I post about work? I wouldn't use real names anyway and I would hope everyone would understand that even if the post wasn't entirely positive, it wouldn't be slanderous or personal. I guess you just have to assess your current situation - is your boss reasonable? Would he or any one of your co-workers even find your blog? If they did, would they be offended? I think I'm safe. I hardly post about work and my boss and I are very amicable. I will watch the future use of the term "pig vomit" however. <wink wink>

    Monday, April 15, 2002


    We're getting ready to move at the beginning of May. The apartment people still haven't let us know our move date nor have they had us sign the lease yet, but I know we wouldnt' be so lucky as not to get one. We're thinking it'll be the weekend of May 4th. It should be an easy move since it's in the same building and there is an elevator... come join us - food and beer will be provided! I'm on the phone with Matthew of AT&T Broadband as I type. He's nice.

    I think I know why AT&T Broadband has to charge so much for their service... We have a digital phone and digital cable. There is a "box" for each. They will disconnect the phone and pick up the phone equipment on 5/3 between 5-7pm. Then they'll send someone out on 5/4 between 3-5pm to install new phone equipment in the new apartment. Unfortunately we'll be without a home phone for a day, but in the cell phone unlim. weekend minute age, who cares?! They will also be sending a guy to pick up the cable equipment on 5/4 between 9-11am. Then between 11-1pm on the same day, another guy will come to install another box at the new apartment. Yes, you counted right, that means 4 trips by 4 different people on 2 different days to simply move equipment from 1 apartment to another in the same building.

    Wednesday, April 10, 2002

    The Caption Machine...

    is my new featured link... I like his title "As funny as you are." You can submit your own funny pictures, captions and rate those captions already there! Look my caption is rated 3rd out of 181 as of now! Bling bling. :)

    Monday, April 08, 2002

    The Finality of Bowling

    It is with a great deal of sadness that I must announce the commencement of the Saturday Nite Live bowling league at Doyle's Lanes. That's right - Saturday was the last stand. To make it easier on the drunks, it was no-tap - wherein getting 9 pins on your first ball counts as a strike. Mike always gets 9's during league, in fact he had a game almost entirely made up of 9 spares last time. Somehow the 9's escaped most of us, except for Gary S. who bowled a no-tap 300! We had a great time. I'm not sure if we just had fun bowling or if we were drunk or if we were held over by the opponent who kept falling into the gutter. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera handy at the time so I have no proof.

    Shelly & Brent came out for moonlight bowling. I won 2 dollars. I'd pay the "better off dead" paperboy but I can't find him. We were paired up with some interesting folk. I reckon they were from the other side of them there tracks. One donned the 80's stonewash jeans complete with zippers and finished the ensemble with target shoes "painted" with what looked like flourescent markers for bowling shoes. Her husband wore similar stonewash jeans with strategically placed moth eaten holes along the right leg. It was too dark to see how many teeth they had. OK that's mean. I'm sorry, I'll do 2 extra good deeds today. Kelly made us sing Summer Nights ala Karaoke. No comment.

    Love and stonewash,

    Friday, April 05, 2002

    Excerpt from the Dilbert Newsletter 40.0

    "Restroom Quotes" I passed a co-worker who was entering the restroom.
    He said to me, "Time to send a fax to the main office."

    Sign up to receive the Dilbert Newsletters. It comes out about monthly. It's always funny and reading it will prevent your hairline from receding*.

    *results uncommon

    Update: I found them

    Thank you MN/DOT. Their address is 5025 Williston Rd in Minnetonka, MN 55345 if you want to egg them for me (just kidding). I ended up talking to the owner - Keith, and before I could say anything after "I'm calling to report an incident", he says, "Just so you know, I'm going to fight you on this." Nice. I need a shoulder, this has me all worked up now.

    WANTED: Wolff Trucking

    Date: 4/4/02
    Time: 11:20am
    Location: Westbound 694 just east of hwy 10 split
    What: Semi-truck hauling dirt and rock made abrupt move to cut me off travelling at least 70 mph. The jerking of his trailer forced dirt and rocks up and over the container bed and onto the road, bouncing onto my hood causing scratches, dents and a chip in my windshield.

    The tractor said WOLFF TRUCKING on it and below the window it said MINNETONKA. No ICC numbers or other licensing numbers were on the truck (or perhaps they were in very small print?). The truck number is W994. The trailer license is Minnesota 43884. It was a black belly dump trailer. The tractor was a light blue/silvery color. I reported the incident to the state patrol but they were unable to locate the vehicle.

    Why this is a mess: There is no directory listing for WOLFF TRUCKING. Not online, not in local yellow, white, or business pages, nor 411. I called the local police department and they cannot divulge any phone number for the trailer owner even though it's a commercial business. They referred me to the department of motor vehicles who also tells me this information is not public record. I called the City of Minnetonka Chamber of Commerce who found no record of Wolff anything and referred me to the Secretary of State's office who turned me over to the Better Business Bureau. Nobody can find any information about this company.

    So word to the wise, if any kind of incident involving a semi happens to you, follow the damn truck until the troopers catch up to you (unless you see a phone # or get the tractor license # and the ICC numbers).


    Jill & I went to Margaritaville last night. Had dinner at Chi-Chi's. I do like their food, but is it really necessary to heat it nearly to the point of spontaneous combustion? We were both starving but had been tided over by the margaritas until the food came. Then the hunger set in again but the food was too hot to eat!! We were onto our 2nd margaritas by the time we were able to take a bite. I also have difficulty justifying the $50 bill for mexican food. Is it me or did these prices jump up along with fuel cost? I guess I just shouldn't go there if I'm going to complain about it huh. Next time I'll sic my weedwacker on them.

    Thursday, April 04, 2002

    The only thing the IRS has not yet taxed

    is the penis.

    This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off, and 10% of the time it's in the hole.

    It has two dependents, but they're nuts.

    Effective January 1, 2003, Penises will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:
    10"-12" Luxury Tax
    8"-10" Pole Tax
    5"-8" Privilege Tax
    4"-5" Nuisance Tax

    Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains.

    Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund.


    Issues still under consideration are as follows:
    Are there penalties for early withdrawal?
    Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
    Are condoms deductible as work clothes?

    Wednesday, April 03, 2002

    Must Have

    I want this dog.

    CRM, What's It Mean to You?

    CRM, CRM
    It must be done
    It must be done

    The customer ran away with the profit again
    So CRM, CRM

    Ooh, another customer relationship management meeting today. I fit right into this stuff. I just hope someone sees it. I'd love to get some project work right about now. Rumor has it there's a huge customer in London and in Atlanta we're close to pitching. I really wouldn't mind going to either but hmmm... just guess which I'd rather. Bridget Jones, watch out.

    Tuesday, April 02, 2002

    Syntegra's Golf League

    I just joined Syntegra's golf league. I have to play from the white tees. I'm the 4th female in the league. The other 3 women have been playing for years. 1 of them has only a 12 handicap. I might be having second thoughts about this.

    Traffic Tip:

    Attention Minnesotan Idiot Drivers: You know who you are. I don't mind if you're scared of the snow, I don't mind if you're cautious to a fault. But, I DO mind that you insist on driving in the left lane at 35 mph. If you're going to drive 35 mph, there are sidestreets and here's a newsflash, there's a right lane! I know this is a revelation, but the left lane is indeed meant for passing! The pick up truck behind you won't be inclined to ride straight up your arse if you're in the right lane! Ughmmmpph!

    Monday, April 01, 2002

    Happy Easter!

    Hope everyone had a nice Easter! We had fun. We went to my Mom's on Saturday so I could start prepping the meal. We had butterburgers at Culver's and then, we went bowling at Alleygators in Maple Grove. Alleygators is great if you like rude staff members with big hair flips. Mom topped her high score by 1! One of us must have stepped over the line and oiled up the approach because yours truly fell on her arse as she launched the ball into the gutter. You say this is nothing new but you're wrong - this time I actually have an excuse!!

    After the bowling adventure, we went to the grocery store for some last minute items. The cinnamon rolls weren't going to prepare themselves, so we got home so I could begin. I'd brought most of the ingredients from home, but was planning on using Mom's flour and sugar. Sure enough she had an unopened bag of flour in the cupboard... "best if used by April 3, 2001". Without hesitation, Kelly offered to go to Angel's convenience store. Flour's in, sugar, yeast mixture, egg, evaporated milk... turned out the dough, or should I say crumbs, and realized this was far too dry. I look back towards the mixer and realize I forgot to add 1/4 cup of water. We tried to knead the water in but to no avail. No problem I say, I'll just make another batch. I've got enough flour and sugar. As I drop the goop into the wastebasket, it occurs to me that I don't have another packet of yeast. Before I could say "shit", Kelly was putting his coat on asking if Angel's would have yeast. I think so, says Mom. Kelly to the rescue - take 2. The second batch turned out the way I'd imagined and into the refrigerator they went along with a little piece of me.

    It was time to rub the brisket down with... <roll eyes> I'd forgotten the Essence at home. Mom doesn't cook and therefore, Mom doesn't have paprika which is the main ingredient in the rub. I dared glance at Kelly who gracefully says, I have to get some things at Target anyway. Off he goes again. In the meantime, I mashed the potatoes and put the casserole together.

    Brisket's coated and tightly wrapped. Cinnamon rolls are slowly rising and potatoes are partying with the garlic & onions. Kelly's been sleeping since 10, I'd been prepping for 6 hours straight and had to get up at 3:30am to start the brisket. Time for bed!

    Awake to sound of bear attacking Kelly in basement. Realize growling was actually coming from Kelly. Attempt to get back to sleep. Unsuccessful. Figure might as well get up and start brisket. Tip-toe to kitchen and preheat roaster to 225. Mix Worcestershire, vinegar, garlic, onion, and spices. Unwrap meat. Clumsily maneuver 11 lbs of meat into foil lined roaster body. Pour concoction over meat. Wrap with foil. Rinse off dishes and venture downstairs to make sure bear hasn't completely eaten Kelly. My mere presence wakes the sleeping bear and we set up the futon for some actual sleep.

    Maddie, my former favorite dog, wakes us up because she has to go to outside. We would toilet train her, but the first time she tried she fell into the toilet and has since developed an intense fear of the bathroom. I fight to go back to sleep and manage to at about 6:30.

    Kelly's phone rings.

    We give up trying to force sleep and remove ourselves from futon.

    Cinnamon rolls are introduced to oven. Anticipation fills my head.

    Cinnamon rolls come out of oven. I place plate on top of pan and invert. Rolls slip between pan and plate when vertical and caramel squirms all over countertop. Mom salvages most of the caramel and rolls are saved. Yum. Rolls are good. A little too much nutmeg but everyone is afraid to say so with the 2 store trips, 4 hours of prepping and caramel waterslide fresh in memory.

    Brisket is 115 degrees. Need to be at 160 - think 4 more hours.

    Brisket is 120 degrees. Maybe 3 more hours. Turn temperature up to 250.

    Brisket is 135 degrees. We're optimistic.

    Brisket is 139 degrees. At this rate, we won't eat until tomorrow. Turn temperature up to 350.

    Brisket is an unpredictable 173 degrees. Kelly begins carving. I start making the bbq sauce. Carrots, potatoes, corn casserole and crescent rolls done at right time.

    We say grace. We eat. Everything tastes wonderful although brisket is a touch overdone. Again noone will say anything as 16 hour cooking time has affected the cook.

    Cook collapses. Arms, back, even stomach muscles are sore from kneading nutmeg laden cinnamon rolls.

    And it was all worth it! Well, except for the falling on one's arse at the bowling alley. That was a tiny bit embarrassing.

    Panic Room

    First, a big thank you to 93X! Panic Room was OK. I might have expected too much out of it. It was a fun evening though. Along with the movie, I won 2 large popcorns and 2 large cokes. Um... when they say large, they mean colossal. Thankfully we gave a popcorn and a pop to a Mom and Son in line ahead of us - we didn't even put a dent in ours! Anyway, the highlight of the evening for Kelly was his seeing a teenage girl wearing a tinfoil beanie with cardboard antennae. It had pink spots. The hat, not the girl. I had to hide the foil at home fearing he might begin construction of his own tinfoil gear. Amy Pease was in town this weekend and the gang went out to Gastof's in Minneapolis. We were supposed to join them but the movie ran long and we made a pitstop at Lil' Ditty's for a beer on the way home. I'm sorry I didn't get to see you this time around Amy, but we'll get together soon.

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