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Happy Easter!

Hope everyone had a nice Easter! We had fun. We went to my Mom's on Saturday so I could start prepping the meal. We had butterburgers at Culver's and then, we went bowling at Alleygators in Maple Grove. Alleygators is great if you like rude staff members with big hair flips. Mom topped her high score by 1! One of us must have stepped over the line and oiled up the approach because yours truly fell on her arse as she launched the ball into the gutter. You say this is nothing new but you're wrong - this time I actually have an excuse!!

After the bowling adventure, we went to the grocery store for some last minute items. The cinnamon rolls weren't going to prepare themselves, so we got home so I could begin. I'd brought most of the ingredients from home, but was planning on using Mom's flour and sugar. Sure enough she had an unopened bag of flour in the cupboard... "best if used by April 3, 2001". Without hesitation, Kelly offered to go to Angel's convenience store. Flour's in, sugar, yeast mixture, egg, evaporated milk... turned out the dough, or should I say crumbs, and realized this was far too dry. I look back towards the mixer and realize I forgot to add 1/4 cup of water. We tried to knead the water in but to no avail. No problem I say, I'll just make another batch. I've got enough flour and sugar. As I drop the goop into the wastebasket, it occurs to me that I don't have another packet of yeast. Before I could say "shit", Kelly was putting his coat on asking if Angel's would have yeast. I think so, says Mom. Kelly to the rescue - take 2. The second batch turned out the way I'd imagined and into the refrigerator they went along with a little piece of me.

It was time to rub the brisket down with... <roll eyes> I'd forgotten the Essence at home. Mom doesn't cook and therefore, Mom doesn't have paprika which is the main ingredient in the rub. I dared glance at Kelly who gracefully says, I have to get some things at Target anyway. Off he goes again. In the meantime, I mashed the potatoes and put the casserole together.

Brisket's coated and tightly wrapped. Cinnamon rolls are slowly rising and potatoes are partying with the garlic & onions. Kelly's been sleeping since 10, I'd been prepping for 6 hours straight and had to get up at 3:30am to start the brisket. Time for bed!

Awake to sound of bear attacking Kelly in basement. Realize growling was actually coming from Kelly. Attempt to get back to sleep. Unsuccessful. Figure might as well get up and start brisket. Tip-toe to kitchen and preheat roaster to 225. Mix Worcestershire, vinegar, garlic, onion, and spices. Unwrap meat. Clumsily maneuver 11 lbs of meat into foil lined roaster body. Pour concoction over meat. Wrap with foil. Rinse off dishes and venture downstairs to make sure bear hasn't completely eaten Kelly. My mere presence wakes the sleeping bear and we set up the futon for some actual sleep.

Maddie, my former favorite dog, wakes us up because she has to go to outside. We would toilet train her, but the first time she tried she fell into the toilet and has since developed an intense fear of the bathroom. I fight to go back to sleep and manage to at about 6:30.

Kelly's phone rings.

We give up trying to force sleep and remove ourselves from futon.

Cinnamon rolls are introduced to oven. Anticipation fills my head.

Cinnamon rolls come out of oven. I place plate on top of pan and invert. Rolls slip between pan and plate when vertical and caramel squirms all over countertop. Mom salvages most of the caramel and rolls are saved. Yum. Rolls are good. A little too much nutmeg but everyone is afraid to say so with the 2 store trips, 4 hours of prepping and caramel waterslide fresh in memory.

Brisket is 115 degrees. Need to be at 160 - think 4 more hours.

Brisket is 120 degrees. Maybe 3 more hours. Turn temperature up to 250.

Brisket is 135 degrees. We're optimistic.

Brisket is 139 degrees. At this rate, we won't eat until tomorrow. Turn temperature up to 350.

Brisket is an unpredictable 173 degrees. Kelly begins carving. I start making the bbq sauce. Carrots, potatoes, corn casserole and crescent rolls done at right time.

We say grace. We eat. Everything tastes wonderful although brisket is a touch overdone. Again noone will say anything as 16 hour cooking time has affected the cook.

Cook collapses. Arms, back, even stomach muscles are sore from kneading nutmeg laden cinnamon rolls.

And it was all worth it! Well, except for the falling on one's arse at the bowling alley. That was a tiny bit embarrassing.


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