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Saturday, September 21, 2002

Shelly & Brent Johnson!

Congratulations on your Wedding Day Shelly & Brent!

It was a beautiful day.

The girls' met in Champlain to get our hair done. I'm sad to say I'll surely have nightmares about the killer bobby pins for the next week. But happy because this hair is not going to move until I force it to.

I had to get my nails redone because the guy yesterday airbrushed the french manicure on my nails and the paint chipped off by this morning. Word to the wise - airbrushing doesn't work on natural nails.

Then it was off to the church for pictures! I forgot my jewelry at home but Kelly got it to the church literally 45 seconds before pictures started. Everything was falling into place.

Showtime! I can hardly believe this moment is upon us! I'm watching Shelly up by the altar vowing to love this man for life and I'm so happy I cry.

The reception was so much fun. The slide show was a huge success. The food was fantastic. Dancing was superb. Shelly's day was perfect and noone deserves perfection more. You'll always be my bestest friend Shell-bell. Always. I am so honored to be a part of this incredible day.

May your love grow stronger every day!

Friday, September 20, 2002

Shelly's Wedding Eve

This morning I went to the Minneapolis Farmer's Market with Susie, Gary, Shelly and Brent to take care of the flowers for their wedding. We had a full day ahead of us and were counting on being done with flowers by 10:00-10:30. We arrived at 8:30 and were greeted by a sing-songy Jim Bush. First he says, we must start on the corsages. He shows us how to make bows and puts us to work. We are to make bows from ribbon and secure them with wire. We had no scissors. A pocket knife tided us over while Jim went to the store to buy scissors. While we were busily tying bows, a gal was making the boutonnières. When Jim returned we'd nearly finished the bows. Jim said nay to the baby's breath that the gal had put in the boutonnières. He went on to rave about eucalyptus seeds and making some raw reference to the significance of seeds. And so we decided to use the boutonnières as corsages and were then charged with making the real boutonnières.

Meanwhile Jim is singing "You Are So Beautiful" to Shelly's bridal bouquet which is coming along quite nicely now. His next masterpieces were the bridesmaids' bouquets. We finished the boutonnières when he was finishing the last bridesmaid's bouquet. It's 10:45 and we still have the Mother's and Grandmother's corsages to make. Not to mention the altar arrangements and cake decorations. By now we're corsage experts, the boys are getting anxious and Jim's rendition of "You Are So Beautiful" is less than topping the charts. We finally finish the corsages at 11:30 and must go if we're going to make our other appointments for the day. Jim vows to have the altar arrangements and cake decorations ready by 9am.

We make our way to King of Roses where Hector lets us store the flowers in his cooler for Shelly's big day. We did it!

Next off us girls had manicure and pedicure appointments. It was so fun to be pampered. Afterwards we prepared for the rehearsal and Groom's dinner and headed off to the church!

Shelly found the most beautiful church! Just amazing. It's perfect.

The rehearsal went fantastic and the Groom's dinner at Angeno's was a hit. I can hardly wait until tomorrow! I'm a little nervous about the slide show, but I have faith it will work.

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

Excerpt from Defective Yeti

Lovely and The Punk

I've just boarded my bus, which is rapidly filling up. The Punk across the aisle, however, is stubbornly refusing to move his bag from the seat next to him. He is staring sullenly out the window, so at first I assume he's just self-absorbed and has forgotten that his backpack is preventing others from sitting. But then I notice that, by some sixth sense, The Punk knows when someone is about to ask him to move his stuff; at these moments he abruptly turns to the interlopers and scowls, until they opt not to speak and continue down the aisle.

Suddenly, a lovely young lady boards, one of those girls that are so obviously unaware of their own allure that they are doubly attractive in the eyes of others. Everyone watches as she saunters down the aisle like a bride in an impromptu wedding, except for The Punk who is busy glaring at pigeons and wondering what he should get tattooed onto his tongue.

Lovely sees the spot next to The Punk, does a charming little skip, grabs one of the support poles and starts to swing herself into the seat. But then she sees the bag, somehow arrests her motion, chirps a "whoops!" and resumes walking towards the back of the bus. The Punk, meanwhile, who has turned towards her with his Angry Youth face in place, manages to look surprised and then delighted and then crestfallen all in the space of a second. He scoops his bag into his lap, but it's too late. A moment later an middle-aged man occupies the vacant seat, but The Punk offers no protest, as he's now craning his neck, scanning the back of the coach and trying to locate his lost opportunity. It's a Sophoclean tragedy in one act.

That was last week. This morning The Punk was again on my bus. He was sitting with his bag on his lap, leaving the adjacent seat free, a testament to the civilizing influence of women.

-See this story here.

Monday, September 16, 2002

4 Days

Kelly & I went golfing on Thursday at Lost Spur in Eagan. It had been about 6 weeks since I'd swung a golf club... unless you count that one time I swung it at Kelly... But seriously. Surprisingly enough I started out well. My 2nd shot I hit my 5 iron out of the rough 175 yards to the fringe. Those who know my golf game will be astounded. I ended up with a 63. Better than 64.

Friday we had an 8:40 softball game and Vicki earned a shutout 23-0. We stayed awhile sipped a few beers. I love playing on that team. Kelly subbed and made a lasting impression. His bat is on fire.

Saturday we took Mom to Cirque du Soleil for her birthday. We had an appetizer at Grandma's at Seven Corners and then headed to the show. It was fantastic. Truly an amazing show. We then had dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory in Minneapolis. The food was excellent. It's a beautiful restaurant and affordable. An appetizer, dinner and drinks for 3 came to $51.00 including tip. Plus desert comes with your meal. I would recommend it to anyone! Mmm!

Sunday, we "pre-bowled" with Kris & Jake and then went to their place to watch the Vikings game. I can't believe they lost to the Bills in OT. Doug Brien missed a field goal AND 2 extra points. UGH. Then to seal the deal, Hoosier Daddy was shut-out 34-0 Sunday night. Emily hung in there after being struck by a line drive. Nailing down the fact that she is a superstar. :) We made a lot of errors, but then again, this team could hit the ball. 1 over the fence, 1 bounced off the top of the fence and 3 that hit the fence. Not much you can do about that. Sigh.

Today is another bowling day. Jill got a new car. She's fancy in her little red Saturn.

Thursday, September 12, 2002

Traffic Report

We interrupt this website to bring you this morning's Minneapolis traffic report.

As you may know, many of the downtown streets have been torn up for most of this year as they work to complete the light rail system below street level. You can imagine the traffic delays as road closures seem to change with the workers' underwear. As a token of the Minneapolis Mayor's appreciation for everyone's patience with the traffic problems, he announced he'd be handing out free doughnuts at a central downtown location. Probably thousands of people flooded the streets to indulge themselves thus causing a major traffic jam. Irony is bliss.

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

In Remembrance

We celebrate anniversaries of change every year. The day we first met. The day we were married. The day we came to America. The day we started our jobs. Today is the day when America woke up.

It's been 1 year and not a day has gone by that something about 9/11 hasn't played through our minds. The way our parents remember where they were when JFK was shot; we will remember where we were when we heard the first plane hit the World Trade Center.

To the victims and their families; to the tireless firefighters, policemen and emergency workers; to the everyday heroes present wherever you look; to the hopeful; to the children. I lift my eyes to the heavens and pray for you and promise not to forget how you died, saved, carried on, forgave and ultimately won on this infamous day. Our lives are forever changed, but we will not surrender or lose ourselves in this so called war.

So today and every day...
Say "thank you" to the bus driver. Wave at a police officer. Pull over when you see an oncoming emergency vehicle. Slow down. Appreciate life. Give someone a flower. Be kind to an elderly person. Love. Make peace. Be true to yourself and you will never be lost.

Monday, September 09, 2002


Hoosier Daddy got a W 17-12! We played Brady's last night in the 92 degree heatwave. We're changing Emily's nickname to Superstar. She's a spectacular pitcher. The bats were hot and we played tough D - way to go!

The Vikes lost to the Bears 27-23 in a last minute TD to D. Terrell. The Vikes started out on fire but went to sleep in the second half. Moss actually sounded smart in his after game interview. Even though they lost, I was impressed by Bennett and think this team has great potential this year. The Chiefs/Browns game was unbelievable. The Browns had the game in the bag with less than a minute to go when the former Viking Rudd threw his helmet during the kickoff return giving the Chiefs 15 yards which brought them within field goal range. Chiefs were 2 points down and nailed the FG. I think Rudd is going to get his rear end in a sling. At least 3 games went into OT - Green Bay pulled out an OT win to Atlanta, Jets take over the Bills and the Saints beat Tampa. Nice opener folks. Cari predicts Steelers over the Patriots 24-20.

Friday, September 06, 2002

Deluded Drafter

Where do I begin??? This summer has been incredible. I'm still trying to catch my breath.

Last Thursday was my fantasy football draft. I'm not happy with my draft - I made a stupid decision with my first pick. I didn't want to take a risk so I picked Curtis Martin instead of Owens or Moss. What was I thinking???? Now my best receiver is Amani Toomer. Ugh.

Last weekend we went to Kelly's aunt and uncle's in northern Wisconsin. They're on Bridge Lake and we caught a few Bass, Northern and Walleye. We kept a 2 lb bass and ate him on Sunday. He was fantastic. We missed the F3 tornado that went through Ladysmith by 2 hours. We usually take highway 8 home and almost stayed to do laundry, but decided to head out early and take an alternate route. The entire town is devastated. Thankfully noone was killed.

The NFL 2002 season started yesterday with the 9ers stuffing the Giants. Pretty boring game until the 4th quarter. We went out for dinner with Shelly & Brent and watched the end of the game at their place. Toomer looked decent but it doesn't show in the numbers. Yikes!

Tonight is Rob Schlegel's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBBIE!). Kelly is going out with Rob and Heather, Serenity and Chris at the Mall of America tonight. Be on the lookout for a blonde curly haired staggering down the isles. Piano Bar, here they come. Tonight I'm going to Shelly's bachelorette party. We're going downtown. It will be fun. Give her money.

Love & Blow Pop Bouquets,


Wednesday, September 04, 2002

A Man's Quest to Fight A Grizzly

Troy Hurtubise hails from Ontario, Canada. He is a Nobel Peace Prize winner. He wants to fight a grizzly bear. In 2001, he completed the Mark VI. He spent $100,000 and 15 years making this high-tech bear-proof suit. He used plastic, rubber, chainmail, galvanised steel, titanium - and thousands of metres of duct tape to construct a system which would allow him to go head to head with a 350 pound grizzly bear and survive. Right, because there's huge demand for such a product.

He wanted to test the suit out on a real bear but first, he underwent field tests while wearing the Mark VI. He was hit twice with a 136 kilogram tree trunk, 18 collisions with a 3 ton truck at 50 km/hr and numerous strikes with arrows, bullests, axes, baseball bats and a chainsaw. Unfortunately, the real bear test never happened, because:

A) they could not find a bear in the correct weight range,
B) they could not find a bear stupid enough to attack the man in the bear suit instead of the unarmed cameramen and news personnel, and finally,
C) once Troy was knocked to the ground he needed help from 3 men to stand since the suit weighs nearly 300 pounds.

What's worse? There's a Mark VII

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