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Softball Junkie

Yesterday marked the beginning of the softball season for Jill's work team. We lost 35-1. We rock. We need some help at pitcher - hopefully there will be some practice in between this week and next. I got tons of exercise in left field between covering my side and chasing balls past left center. I made a jumping catch and naturally didn't land on my feet. You know it's bad when the other team cheers for you when you make an out! Either way, we had fun and that's what counts. That and the beer.


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For ripping off 1980's Bon Jovi lyrics to write pitiful softball song #3.... [Read More]


Sounds more like a rugby score. Including the beer. Do you have any softball songs?

Hmm... I suppose you'd have to be pretty talented to score just 1 point in rugby? Or are we talking about smear the word that I can't bring myself to type?

Softball song #1:

Take me out to the ball game
Take me out with the ball
Buy me some crutches and ice packs please
Also some kleenex in case I sneeze

Cause it's root root root for the home team
If they can win it's a scam
For it's 1 2 3 strikes you're out
At the old ball game!

Must be a dialect thing. Does scam really rhyme with game?

Nope... but our team is so awful it really wouldn't be a "shame" if we don't win, as detailed in the original lyrics. Likely more the result of bribery or something like that. And thus, a scam. So there :)

holy double negatives. this has more twists than lombard street. I had no idea that bribery was possible. Is it the penguin or the riddler?

Everything's for sale - even D-league softball umps!

As noted in

Softball Song #2:

We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
So what if we paid for it
Cause we are the champions - of the world

OK that was weak I admit, but I'll make up for it with

Softball Song #3:

An unearned run is what you sell
You promise that we'll win, even if we don't play well
Got to admit, you've got a hold on me
When cheatin's a prison, you can't break free

You're a loaded gun
There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done

We're 10 and 0
And you're to blame
You give the sport a bad name
I pay my part and you name your game
You give the sport a bad name

Perhaps I should just quit while I'm not too far behind. I'm just not feeling the vibe today. Hopefully the MN Wild are, however, because if they don't beat the Canucks tonight, I might cry. Again.

Maybe you are trying too hard. Go to an after the rugby game party. It will give you some ideas for a soft(ball)er version of some of these famous drinking songs. Maybe you want to add this link to your site:


Hey (name) Hey what hey (name) show us how to get down no way show us how to get down. Ok you stump your feet buggy to the beat you turn around and wiggle it just a little bit.

great songs

Why thank you!

I also do Bar Mitzvahs :)

these songs are really shitty.it's like you want to be a bitch,or a fucker I'm not sure?you are so a damn,bitchin,fucker,slut don't you think so jackass

I've always wanted to be a bitch, but a damn bitchin fucker slut too?! I thought that'd be too much to ask! Thanks for reminding me to never give up. Without your encouragement, I might have settled for just being a bitch. That was a close call!

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