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You know it's bad...

When you have to pee at 9am and realize at 2:30pm that you haven't gone yet.

Pretty much the story of my life for the past couple of weeks.

I don't think anyone really missed me, except for maybe Jason which is such a pleasant surprise because I mean, if I were in jail, at least SOMEONE would notice and possibly bail my sorry ass out.

I'm just kidding. I'm sure my landlord would notice when the rent went unpaid.

But seriously. The Wolves game was awesome. The best seats I've ever had and the beer was seriously delicious. So delicious in fact that I had to have 1 too many. Luckily I was able to contain my drunken stupor until we met my cousin and her husband at Urban Wildlife for 3 shots of Jägermeister and sword fights with the Timberwolves Thunder Sticks. I cherish those Thunder Sticks. You'd think they were filled with gold. Or magical beans.

My recollection was that Heather and Mike had to go home but apparently I had a drunken moment of sanity and decided that I, in fact, was too drunk to be in public and that Ryan and I should go home. Once outside the door I asked Ryan if we should go home, or go to meet Jill at the Refuge. He said home but I went to the Refuge with him in tow. We stayed for exactly 97 seconds - the precise amount of time it took me to almost fall over and drop a glass of water. We took a cab home because I didn't want to walk but half way home I felt too sick and asked to get out. I began running home. In sexy strappy 4" heeled sandals. I either didn't realize that I was on a curb and forgot that curbs end at intersections, or have bad night vision, or was too drunk to care either way. Anyhow, I fell face first in the middle of the street. Ryan can attest to the fact that I didn't stumble or make any effort to catch myself. It was as if I didn't even realize I was falling until I bit the asphalt. I did save the thunder stick however, sacrificing the back of my right hand. I mean, I can't lose my magic beans people - they're magic.

I'm still amazed that the only injury sustained was a tiny scrape on the back of my hand. Sadly it's one of those that will never ever heal and I will have a scab on the back of my hand until I'm 30.

So what other chaos have I been up to? Friday the 4th was our 2nd softball double-header. You may remember that I scraped up my right knee during our first game - the first at bat to be exact. Not to be outdone, I proceeded to slide at least 10 times. Most of them head-first in a vain attempt to protect my newly healed knee. My 2nd to last at bat I slid into 2nd, 3rd and home. The ump was concerned about my health, actually more accurately, probably my mental health. The other team was pissed off and I found out why after the game. I thought we were losing 14-16 when in fact, we were winning 14-6. So here's this girl taking extra bases, trying to be Torri Hunter when we're leading by 8 in the 4th inning. I guess I'd think it was a little unnecessary too. For the record, I was never out. And there was a play each time so I did actually have to slide to earn the run. So there. My suggestion? Buy stock in band-aids. I'm thinking it's on the rise.

My work buddy, Emily, is gone :(. But she left for a really great opportunity and she deserves the very best. I'm never going to take breaks without her! We partied at the Blue Fox Friday after work. Jill and Mandy came. It was a lot of fun. Although I told stories I shouldn't and danced way too much.

My great aunt Peg turned 88 and had a birthday party on Saturday. It was great to see everyone - it's been way too long! She's doing great and is very happy and fun. I want half of what she has when I'm 88 :)

I hope you're all well and happy and enjoying this beautiful weather! July is a much slower month for me - NO MORE WEDDINGS!!! Yay!

Hopefully I'll pull myself out of this crazy funk I'm in today. I just didn't start the day on the right foot. I need medication in the form of beer. I mean, I haven't had a beer in like 2 days. No wonder I'm not feeling well.



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I can call off the search now! Glad you are ok and it sounds like you are having a great summer so far! Make sure to check in every now and then and let us know what you are up to.

I think you are the luckiest unlucky person in the world. I'm glad you protected the thunder stick & wish I would have been there to see your Torri Hunter slides. I'm an agent. Need representation?

Next time you see your x boy you should clobber him with the thunderstick. Then again he might like that. Forget it!

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