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Wow did I get a breath of fresh air this week! I've been wound up so tightly lately I literally squeezed the real me out! I really overwhelmed myself and started to feel really out of control and scared that I'd never find my footing again. And it was affecting every aspect of my life. So I started writing stuff down on Tuesday. It's amazing how theraputic that can be. While I was writing, all of these things seemed to be so ominous and I felt like there were endless issues. When I'd finished, I already felt better but when I read through the pages I realized that it's really quite simple. It all boils down to me biting off more than I can chew and taking responsibility for everybody else's feelings. I never ask for help. And I probably should apologize for it because I'm sure my friends have wanted to help and might even feel bad when I don't ask or accept their help thinking that I don't trust them enough to help. It's not that at all. I associate getting help as a sign of weakness and vulnerability and feel like I'm being a burden. It's ironic that I feel that way since I'm so quick to help everyone else and I really enjoy helping my friends so why would I feel bad asking them to help me? So I asked for help. And it was good. And I don't think I've ever felt this loved or appreciated in my whole life. I wish I would have done so sooner.


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