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Friday, March 31, 2006

Reason #867 to Use a Fake Phone Number

I met a seemingly normal guy last Friday night at the Imperial Room. We were drinking the same drink, he made me laugh once. But nothing captivating enough to keep me from returning promptly to my friends after paying for my drink.

A little while later we ran into each other again in passing and my friend stopped to talk to someone so we had a conversation. At some point between ordering the drink and 1/2" from the rim, I lost the common sense to say no when he asked for my phone number.

We didn't see each other the rest of the night, but not by his choice.

Text Message #1
3/25/06 1:29am
Classification: Bitter
Why would u blow me off

Response #1
3/25/06 1:36am
Classification: Instinctually feeling guilty for hurting his feelings
Sorry - I went to the bathroom

Text Message #2
3/25/06 1:45am
Classification: From left field
U wanna cuddle

Me: Hoping it was a mass-text gone bad

Text Message #3
3/25/06 1:46am
Classification: Creepy
Look to your right

Me: God help me, don't look to your right!

Text Message #4
3/25/06 2:04am
Classification: Stalker
Should i wait for u

Me: Slight panic, scan for nearest exit

Text Message #5
3/25/06 2:07am
Classification: Psycho
Can i go home with u i wanna cuddle

Me: Contemplating a lock change

I thought I was out of the woods when the texts stopped there.


Text Message #6
3/25/06 10:31am
Classification: Disillusioned
I just wanted to tell ive always kind of had a thing for u and i think your really attractive so i look forward to seeing you!

Response #2
3/25/06 10:32am
Classification: Perplexed but maybe this guy thought he knew me and the me in his mind was the type who likes psycho-babble
Always? We met for the first and last time last night.

Text Message #7
3/25/06 10:34am
Classification: Very disillusioned
Im pretty sure we met through allegra

Response #3
3/25/06 10:35am
Classification: Near relief - he has the wrong girl!
I don't know what allegra is... I think you have the wrong girl.

Text Message #8
3/25/06 10:37am
Classification: Disappointing
I remember u, your the cute asian girl

Text Message #9
3/25/06 10:41am
Classification: Eyebrow-raising
I meant we would look cute 2gether

Lucky me, it doesn't end there!

5 days later

Text Message #10
3/30/06 5:15pm
Classification: Desperate
I wanna go out 2nite so if u wanna get 2gether let me know

Response #4
3/30/06 5:18pm
Classification: Careful - get to the point, but not such that he decides to come after me with one
I'm sorry to be rude but I'm not interested in getting together.

Surely, this is the end.

Text Message #11
3/31/06 12:46pm
Lets go out 2nite

Me: Thinking, really?!? Me too, just not with you because I'm not really into being murdered.

Text Message #12
3/31/06 1:55pm
Thanks for not giving me the time of day

What's worse, is I actually felt guilty for being abrupt. And for wanting to respond "You're welcome"


Well, here's an anti-climactic partial unveiling of the new site design. I'm having major performance issues with movable type so am going to try tackling the rest over the weekend.

In the meantime, I hope the disjointed links, layouts, and themes don't cause you any visual trauma.

Have a great weekend!

Love and PHP,

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

In Remembrance of St. Patrick's Day 2006

"I guess you could say I'm the Asian equivalent of Irish."

Hoosier Final Four

Greetings from the Westin in Indy - I can't believe I didn't realize the Final Four was THIS WEEKEND. I'm sure I could have stretched this out a few more days!

I seated myself at a small airport bar table in gate F today. I ordered a beer and connected to the airport WiFi. Things were good.

I was warm so I removed my pretty blue coat. I'm wearing a shirt that has a small pocket on the left arm. Somehow I noticed that the pocket had managed to remove itself and reattach to the right arm. No shit, I had my shirt on backwards. Luckily, there was no obvious print or design that would make my faux paus clear to anyone else as long as I didn't shout it out loud which is nearly what I did. I might have sunk an inch in my chair but I was amused and enjoyed the 2nd sip of my beer despite myself.

The 3rd sip spelled disaster. Or did it? I spilled my beer and Betsy was quick with napkins and directions to the closest restroom.

I grabbed my coat and promptly reversed my shirt in the nearest stall.

I gave myself the opportunity to resolve my wardrobe issue and hide the beer mismanagement. So yes, I am an opportunist. Cheers!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Top 10 Reasons Being On-Call Doesn't Suck

10... I've said it before, sleep is over-rated.
9.... Justified that extended battery for the laptop once and for all!
8.... There is a semi-tangible level of sympathy around the office that presents itself in the form of cake (also see reason #5 why being on call does suck.
7.... You don't have to miss work happy hours because they will choose venues with WiFi.
6.... It's good motivation to spend the 2 hours it takes to install, upgrade, and secure the wireless router that has been collecting dust for 6 months. (I no longer sleep with zzz's... definitely www's).
5.... While waiting for Clonmel to call you back, you totally might as well update your MySpace profile at 3am. Looking up long lost classmates is also highly recommended. People love receiving sober-bar-time messages.
4.... Because nobody would dare page you when Sevendust is on stage.
3.... People no longer make fun of you for having your laptop. At the bar. (and yes, Scott, I am going to make a webpage survey for our volleyball team name. User authenticated so you don't skew the data. I'm so onto you!).
2.... Because you can blame sleep deprivation for the haphazard self-serving top 10 list that makes even David Letterman look good.

and the number 1 reason being on-call doesn't suck:

I finally have a legitimate reason not to sleep.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

7:39 PM

  • The time at which it's too early to have had 4.5 beers.
  • The time I should have gone to sleep on Friday.
  • At least maybe not consumed the Irish Car Bomb at the Imperial Room.

    Let's just hope the nice folks at Brit's will allow me back :)

    R & E & G - I owe you all a beer. Actually, I owe you 36 so I can repay you for taking care of me!

  • Friday, March 17, 2006

    My Bitch

    It's st patricks' day
    and I got something to say
    Ronda is a fox
    don't fuck with her or her box
    because she'll make or break your day

    Friday, March 10, 2006

    Official Limerick Week

    Seven shamrocks in seven days
    The countdown begins, leads up to the craze
    March Madness full swing
    Your friends you should bring
    We'll set this here town all a-blaze!

    Wednesday, March 08, 2006

    Float Like a Butterfly

    Sting like a bee...
    It doesn't feel good
    When you take the stairs on your knees

    What's better? It happened at a work function.

    I organize the fun stuff at work and tonight, we had our group quarterly event. Four of our California team-members were in town to partake in the festivities.

    We played bocce ball in the basement of Half-Time Rec in St. Paul.

    We had a great time. Sean was hesitant to be my bocce partner - I'm sure the memory of me almost nailing him with my backswing at our mini-golf-outing was fresh in his mind. Happy to report, nobody was injured on the bocce court.

    During the championship round, I was sent upstairs to get one last pitcher of beer. The bartender overfilled it so I asked for a glass. I poured the excess beer into the glass and carried on with the pitcher in my left hand, the glass in my right. I made it a couple of stairs before I tumbled to my death.

    With 3 stairs to go, I somehow managed to stop my forward momentum by slamming the pitcher into the brick wall with my left hand and hooking my right hand around the railing, pint in grasp. It was a miracle. I was in the crucifix position on my shins - my shins! - with both feet unnaturally curled behind me.

    To earn the respect of my co-workers once and for all, I managed not to spill more than 3 ounces of beer.

    Apparently, in lieu of broomball, I felt I had to inflict bodily harm on myself.

    According to my hands, I was in a semi-serious bar fight. The bruise on my left elbow is such that it hurts to even look at it, I ruined my shoes, and scraped the corduroy out of my favorite corduroy pants.

    But I saved the beer and provided entertainment.

    And for that, the team is thankful.

    Tuesday, March 07, 2006

    Feeling Guilty

    For not calling my Grandpa in way too long.

    It was nice to talk to you today - can't wait to see you on Sunday!

    Friday, March 03, 2006

    Feeling Guilty

    For upgrading my Movable Type. Until 4am.

    Apparently, version 2.661 had some security issues as well as a labor-intensive comment spam control plugin. I loved MT-blacklist, it was effective, but those spammers get smart quick. I was having to manage that blacklist daily.

    Anyway, the upgrade itself was pretty easy. The database upgrade was another story. Me, being the overachiever I am, figured I might as well switch from the BerkleyDB to MySQL while I was messing with the configuration. Turns out, the cgi script to build and convert the d/b left out 2 tables. So after rebuilding the MySQL d/b 4 times, converting the data (which took 40 minutes each time), encountering errors, performing shot-in-the-dark-troubleshooting, I finally stumbled upon the call-out to the missing tables. I built them and miraculously, we're live on 3.2.

    I took the 3 in-between hours to build my profile on myspace because everybody-else-is-doing-it and sharing pictures that I can't see without a profile. When did everyone get so virtual? Have I been living in a shoebox? I actually hate these things. "Here, take a look at the photos from last weekend, but you have to sign up, join every mailing list known to man, and share personal information about yourself." Sweet.

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