Saturday, August 28, 2010

I Thee Wed

Written 5/09/2013

We had a beautiful wedding - we are still in awe over how many of our loved ones came to support us. I regret this domain was thieved and I didn't capture all of the planning and moments in real-time.

It was a difficult time in actuality. 5 months prior, we lost Mike to a tragic accident. At times, it was hard to proceed, but in my heart, I knew we had to for him. There were many moments I felt deep sorrow replace the joy in my heart. A dream was coming true for me, but I was acutely aware the same dream had come abruptly to an end for Heather, who I love and cherish like a sister. They say time heals, but I now know it doesn't. We cope. We change. But the wounds don't heal.

Thank you to our family and friends, for making our day so special and for accepting us for who we are together and as individuals. We are forever grateful!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Limerick Week 2010: Numero Uno

You may recall last year’s limericks
I’d adopted a dog to do tricks
The best one she had
She found me a lad
In August we will be hitched!

Last Year's Limericks

Well, it's that time of year again!

Importation Day (or St Patrick's Day for the rest of you) is in one week so let the Limericks* begin!

Limerick subject suggestions welcome and encouraged!
Seriously, help the Asian equivalent of Irish out!

#1 Tuesday 3/10
There once was a lass named Cari
She wasn't sure she'd ever marry
She adopted a yellow lab
Who didn't like any lads
Perhaps Nika would prefer for Cari a "Terri"?

#2 Wednesday 3/11
There once was a chap named Dean
Oh how he wanted his beer green
So he waited all year
'Til green turned his beer
Now he's green too so it seems

#3 Wednesday 3/11
This is a story about Randy
The best roommate ever, he's dandy!
I don't mean to brag
He's really chips in a bag
And of course his girlfriend's eye candy

We're going for quantity, not necessarily quality :)

Friday, March 09, 2007

Oh the Places You'll Go

I go to Vegas, San Diego, Nashville, New York City, etc for work. But I vacation in Detroit.

I'm voluntarily taking time off of work to fly to Detroit. If it's a layover, it's weird that its' 5 days long.

I guess I had to put it in writing because I was starting not to believe it myself!

Stamford is nice, but I'm glad I'm getting home tomorrow in time for the broomball finals! The hotel I accidentally chose is in the most perfect location ever. Just stumbling distance from the pubs... er restaurants. :) Had some incredible sushi tonight... raw shrimp? I overcame my initial reaction which was part disbelief and part fear and was delighted by the delicate texture and sweetness. I doubt I'd purposely order it again (mind over matter can only take me so far) but I'm glad I tried it! I went out for a couple beers and to watch some b-ball and hockey. I was invited to a bachelor party. My phone-a-friend life-line thankfully helped me plan out an escape route. I'm headed back out into the wilderness now. Wish me luck, clearly I need it.

Monday, December 25, 2006

The Truth

The truth is that at this moment, I think I just bit the "it's not you, it's me" thing hook, line, and sinker.

On Christmas.

He said he'd call. He said he'd call Saturday or Sunday and while we exchanged a few texts, he didn't initiate and not for the reason discussed. And I was hurt, but understanding. I know this is hard for him too.

But today, he said he would contact me later. And he didn't. And I'm consequently destroyed. And I shouldn't be. Certainly, I don't deserve to be. I might think so, but nobody else does.

I have this epiphany as I'm leaving my best friend and another who are supportive but for different reasons. Chad, because he loves me. Because we see each other in each other but simultaneously probably don't really understand each other (by now, he must think I've gone off the deep end). Yet it's unconditional. And I'm thankful for it. Every day. Todd, for maybe another reason or 17. He's a good soul who might have collided with mine at an inopportune time last year. The bottom line is that, I felt it. The collectiveness. The belonging. Its importance. Its ineffectiveness at desperate inconsolable times like these.

But I left, needing Chad, needing something. And we watched Next over ice water and cashews and he held me loosely. And I was grateful. I was bursting inside.

When I left 15 minutes later, I was ready to face home. The packing, the reality. I am leaving in 14 hours for Vegas. A presumably happy place. But right now, I'm driving home without conviction. And I'm welling. And I'm wondering if my sputtering phone is the reason for my heartache. Chad dropped it in water. He was sorry, I was but I wasn't. We considered its appropriateness. Its necessity. I was driving. My cheeks are cold in streams. I'm hating it.

Because it is in fact, the fact that I haven't heard from the one person that I believed I loved. That I believed loved me. And I know in my mind that it's not my phone's waterlogged disdain that has kept him from contacting me. If he wanted to, he could call Chad. Because I texted from Chad's phone after my phone found its way to the bottom of Chad's water glass. Which followed a semi-rational discussion over what's normal for me to want to call when I was told I would be called. But other than my half-operative phone, he could call my house. Which I met with hopeful disappointment to find my Dad's voicemail instead of his, "Hi, it's me, I'm sorry it didn't work out tonight".

Am I a fool?

Did I believe something I shouldn't?

God, help me if I have.

Because I really did believe this was truth. It. Life. Honor.

I trusted myself. I'm not sure what to do if I shouldn't have. Either way, I must protect my optimism.

Even Mr. Big was profound even when he wasn't.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

In Short

Saturday Night Fever

Chad, Nadine, and Kristy had their birthday party a few weeks ago. It was fabulous. I got to meet Austin who is the most adorable sweet morsel to love techno. Lawn games on the sidewalk, weird weather both figuratively and actually, little keg in a big coat, solid party. You really just can’t go wrong. Especially not with food of that kind of epic proportion! I’m standing with a group of eligible young men. I say eligible, but not for me as they are gay. The man to my right scans the room and whispers to his neighbor, “Have I hooked up with anyone here?” A subsequent scan and “No” is passed around the group. I don’t know 99.8% of the people at the party and those that I did were more interested in each other than in me so I remarked convinced, “Well, you know I haven’t!” and no shit, 20 seconds later, my ex-boyfriend walks into the living room. Laughter ensued.

Day Trippin'

I did so trip on the volleyball court boundary walking back to serve. In front of a large audience. Through the tears of laughter, I couldn't tell if anyone really saw. So I whispered to Chad, "Did anyone see that?" To which the crowd responded, "Um, yes, everyone saw that!" Laughter ensued.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Clarified Butter

Prompted by multiple questions on the subject... I feel a clarification is in order.

If I have the inclination, motivation, and twisted sense to prefix someone's number with bogus 9's, I also know that it's not someone that I should invest any more in either. 9's are the new black. Blacklist that is.

Call off the dogs, there's no need to glock-9 my 9's! Thank you extremely much for your collective concern though - it really means a lot!

In this very personal social experiment that I've initiated, several things have happened. I've been surprised by the fact that I've been able to successfully fool myself. I mean, I've tried setting my clock time ten minutes fast, but when the alarm goes off - I know and still sleep ten minutes past the time I know I "have" to get my ass out of bed. I've been appalled at my lack of self-restraint, yet proud I found a solution that allows me the instant gratification in the moment without the consequences of the past. It has also taught me to realize when enough is enough. Drinking to the point of idiotic behavior that fosters the need for this type of self-manipulation is retarded.

And my head feels so much clearer since I've found and taken action on the root cause. Which is: I can hang with the boys, but I can't drink-for-drink hang with the boys. Duh.

So I'm good now. But if the FCC ever decides to implement a 999 area code, I'm screwed.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Trick or Treat

I played a trick on myself the other day.

So I had a brilliant idea.

I'm notorious. Ok, only semi-notorious, for making drunk phone calls I regret in the morning.

So my resolution? Add a few 9's before the number.

This has worked successfully a total of 2 times.

Fast-forward to the week after 9'ing the guy. I innocently day-time text him and he doesn't respond. I figure he's busy at work or maybe he's in a no-service location. After all, he does have less-than-stellar cellular.

Then I realize it's been 9 hours and surely by now he's been home within the digital network. And in the midst of my quasi-crazy what-could-he-be-thinking rationalization I realize: I CHANGED HIS NUMBER IN MY PHONE. Only someone at the 999-952-###-#### might have responded.

And that's how I played a trick on myself.

Happy 4th of July!

Lesson: Metamorphasizing numbers is effective only if you remember to retreat when you actually want to connect.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Xcel Conspiracy?

Jolynn's SO got free tickets to the Kid Rock concert last night. It was at the Xcel.

We picked the tickets up from will call and she hands me mine...

Would you believe I had the same exact seat as Tuesday?

About the Kid...

He's more talented than I knew and hotter than I'd ever imagined. And ever wanted to.

Did I just use the word "hotter" in reference to Kid Rock? Um... yes 'fraid so. I felt like I should wash my eyes out with soap when I got home. But I didn't.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Reason #867 to Use a Fake Phone Number

I met a seemingly normal guy last Friday night at the Imperial Room. We were drinking the same drink, he made me laugh once. But nothing captivating enough to keep me from returning promptly to my friends after paying for my drink.

A little while later we ran into each other again in passing and my friend stopped to talk to someone so we had a conversation. At some point between ordering the drink and 1/2" from the rim, I lost the common sense to say no when he asked for my phone number.

We didn't see each other the rest of the night, but not by his choice.

Text Message #1
3/25/06 1:29am
Classification: Bitter
Why would u blow me off

Response #1
3/25/06 1:36am
Classification: Instinctually feeling guilty for hurting his feelings
Sorry - I went to the bathroom

Text Message #2
3/25/06 1:45am
Classification: From left field
U wanna cuddle

Me: Hoping it was a mass-text gone bad

Text Message #3
3/25/06 1:46am
Classification: Creepy
Look to your right

Me: God help me, don't look to your right!

Text Message #4
3/25/06 2:04am
Classification: Stalker
Should i wait for u

Me: Slight panic, scan for nearest exit

Text Message #5
3/25/06 2:07am
Classification: Psycho
Can i go home with u i wanna cuddle

Me: Contemplating a lock change

I thought I was out of the woods when the texts stopped there.


Text Message #6
3/25/06 10:31am
Classification: Disillusioned
I just wanted to tell ive always kind of had a thing for u and i think your really attractive so i look forward to seeing you!

Response #2
3/25/06 10:32am
Classification: Perplexed but maybe this guy thought he knew me and the me in his mind was the type who likes psycho-babble
Always? We met for the first and last time last night.

Text Message #7
3/25/06 10:34am
Classification: Very disillusioned
Im pretty sure we met through allegra

Response #3
3/25/06 10:35am
Classification: Near relief - he has the wrong girl!
I don't know what allegra is... I think you have the wrong girl.

Text Message #8
3/25/06 10:37am
Classification: Disappointing
I remember u, your the cute asian girl

Text Message #9
3/25/06 10:41am
Classification: Eyebrow-raising
I meant we would look cute 2gether

Lucky me, it doesn't end there!

5 days later

Text Message #10
3/30/06 5:15pm
Classification: Desperate
I wanna go out 2nite so if u wanna get 2gether let me know

Response #4
3/30/06 5:18pm
Classification: Careful - get to the point, but not such that he decides to come after me with one
I'm sorry to be rude but I'm not interested in getting together.

Surely, this is the end.

Text Message #11
3/31/06 12:46pm
Lets go out 2nite

Me: Thinking, really?!? Me too, just not with you because I'm not really into being murdered.

Text Message #12
3/31/06 1:55pm
Thanks for not giving me the time of day

What's worse, is I actually felt guilty for being abrupt. And for wanting to respond "You're welcome"

Thursday, February 02, 2006


Guilty as charged. I've written about this before. I may not have fear on the rink, the court, or the field, but I do have a phobia about my own website. I'm not proud of this, but I can't deny it either. I don't write about some things because I want to spare my parents trauma, some out of respect for others' privacy, some out of pure and simple embarrassment, maybe for fear of misinterpretation or judgment, but mostly because I'm afraid I might hurt someone's feelings.

But spare the bad-dater no more!

I went out on the most horrific date in December yet was afraid to share in case he should somehow stumble upon this and suffer a bruised ego. But there are other, more important things to think about. Helping other girls cope with chronic bad-date-syndrome. Maybe it would even serve as a cheat sheet for what-not-to-do for guys out there who are teetering dangerously close to the edge of dating reason. And even if the guy was somehow resourceful enough to find this website, maybe this might help him get to a 2nd date with someone. It just won't be me.

We will call him Prius.

Prius wanted to be my blind date. I wasn't so hot on the notion. But after a couple weeks of e-mail and instant messaging, I found myself semi-curious about him. We had a lot in common, the picture he sent was a good one, and ultimately, after experiencing a mild case of unrelated heartache, I decided I had nothing to lose.

We met at Majors for a drink. He had a Mike's Hard Lemonade, I had a beer. I should have known then but all-in-all it went pretty well. The conversation was easy, we did have a lot in common, and he seemed like a decent guy. I also realized mid-drink that I hadn't been out on a real date for quite some time. As I was contemplating whether or not this actually qualified as a "real" date, the bill came for our 2 drinks. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not one to expect anyone to pay for me. In fact, I get in trouble for my speediness with the Check Card. But, in this case, I have to admit, I thought that he might pay. We each only had 1 drink and he was the one who was so eager to meet when I wasn't ready to take the blind-date step. Yet here we are staring at the $6 tab and he flags the waitress down to insist she split the bill. I was trying to hide my surprise and managed to hold in my offer to pay the bill myself. So I paid for my beer, we said our goodbye's and on the way home I convinced myself that I shouldn't read into it. Maybe it was just his first-date thing.

Prius called on Thursday. He got comp tickets to the MN Wild that Saturday, December 17th. Could I go? I had bowling so I reluctantly said no. It hurts me to turn down sporting events. Saturday morning arrives and Heather tells me her and Mike are pre-bowling. Change in plans, I'm going to the hockey game! So I verified he still had the tickets and told him I'd call him after pre-bowling to decide the logistics of the evening. The game started at 7. I offered to meet him somewhere in between. After much confusion, we finally determined Bloomington was a good place; Bennigans to be exact. He likes to get there early, would 6pm be OK? It would be a tight schedule for me, but I said I would make it work.

So I rushed from bowling to home to clean up and prepare for the game. I arrived at Bennigans promptly at 6. 6:06, 6:14, 6:20. Finally, I decide I should call him. Maybe I'm in the wrong place. I admitted to him earlier that I didn't know Bloomington too well, nor how to get to St. Paul the best way from there. Prius answers and is just pulling into the parking lot. I said I'd meet him outside. On my way out the door, I found myself rolling my eyes at the lack of a phone call. I certainly wouldn't keep someone waiting that long without a call or a very good reason. I thought he'd be there, out front in his car, but he had parked along the side of the building and was standing there seemingly expecting me to drive? He apologized for running late and asked if I was ready to go, I said yes, there was a weird sort of jockeying going on with both of us not sure of what to do next. I finally slowly, suggestively repeated that I don't know the area well and he got the hint and led me to his car. We were eastbound on 494. We talked and things quickly returned to normal.

We exited on Kellogg. It's the typical game-time traffic jam and we're stopped just after we get off of the freeway. We slowly make our way towards Kellogg and his car starts acting funny. Sputtering. I notice the gas light is on. You know, the commonly labeled "idiot light"? We were running out of gas. Sure enough, just as we're first in line to turn right onto Kellogg, the car sputters to its slow painful death. He doesn't know what to do. I was calm and trying to find the humor in it. I knew he must feel terrible so I was careful not to make him feel bad or inept in any way. He asked me to walk 2 blocks to the cop directing traffic in front of the Xcel Center and ask for help to which I couldn't hold in my surprise. I politely informed him that the police officer was busy and would not help us - we would have to get gas ourselves. He said he was sure there was a gas station within 6-7 blocks. I asked if he wanted me to go along and he said no. He also said that he didn't have cash. To which I suggested he use a credit card. But Prius didn't bring a credit card. He was planning on getting cash in the stadium. I gave him the $6 I had in cash and my credit card. Yes, I know I shouldn't have done this but I was uncomfortable and panicked. And didn't consider there would be an ATM at the gas station.

After 20 minutes of me directing angry game-goers around the car while hanging my head in shame, he arrived with a gas can and $4 in change. We gassed up and headed back to the station to return the gas can. On the way he tells the story about how this station was actually out of gas. The gas attendant told him he could attempt to get the last drops out of the tanks. He got the last 2 dollars worth. We shared a laugh. So we drop the can and head to the next station for a little more fuel. For some reason, I again, fail to realize that he should be using the gas station ATM. And how was he planning on parking with no cash? I put $6 of gas in his tank and we head back to park. He said he had a usual place, but I quickly realize we are driving in circles. Finally he said he was lost. I told him about the secret around Patrick McGoverns and low and behold, a metered spot awaited. We parked and got to the game with 8 minutes left in the 1st period. I was desperate for a beer. But I was staring at $4. $2 short. I asked if he wanted anything but he said no and shuffled away towards our section.

Once seated, he introduced me to his co-worker and co-worker's girlfriend. The game was a good one and I tried not to look when he bobbed his head to the music. I was mortified. And sober. His friend got up before the 2nd period and informed Prius he was going for beer. Did we want anything? Prius, without consulting me, answered no. Before I could act, my potential beer runner was gone. Halfway through the 2nd period, I was stewing in head-bobbing-beer-abstaining misery so I went to get my own beer. Thankfully, he didn't take me up on my offer to get him something.

To top everything off, the Wild lost. We got back to my car and I fled. Seriously. I fled.

I don't know about you, but if I ran out of gas and for some insane reason didn't have any money or a credit card and had to borrow money from my date, I would be absolutely apologetic and offer no uncertainty about paying the money back. In fact, I would have used the ATM in the stadium as described to settle the debt immediately upon entering the gates. And I would most definitely medicate with the appropriate dosage of barley and hops. Everybody needs a sandwich.

The moral of the story is:

  • Go out with a guy who drinks Mike's Hard Lemonade in December at your own risk.
  • Never give an idiot your credit card.
  • Prius, should buy a Prius.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The Prognosticator

Make that the 99th percentile of the football picks pool. 100% last week... if only I'd have gone to Vegas!

Also, I'm ranked 22 of 2,443.


Monday, November 07, 2005


I'm not talking guns.

But it is a nice round number.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Oops, I did it again

I took another week off of marathon training.

And am supposed to go the Cirque de Soleil at 1pm the day of the marathon.

My friend's wedding is the night before the race.

I have about 1,000 more excuses burning a hole in my arsenal. This bites.

Last Wednesday, game 3. Of course we were on the "deep-end" of the court as in, there is a 4 foot drop-off. I was going for a ball near the edge and while I knew where I was, Josh was encouraging - you got it you got it! So I went for it. I did get it but in the form of disappearing from the court, into the net and scraping my entire right shin and foot on the retaining wall in the process. It took 4 people to untangle me from the net which had thankfully saved me from doing a complete face-plant into the mulch below. Now you see her, now you don't. I finished the game but have been paying for it ever since in that unseen-bruise-so-bad-can't-breathe-on-it-much-less-touch-it way. It hurts!

And I haven't even tried putting a running shoe on since.


Vikings won another game I attended. Mike Tice should sell me his play-off tickets this year. Damn it, I'm pseudo-family. I have Vikings dice hanging from my mirror for crying out loud! My date for the game had never been to a football game before. Hm, apparently it is my mission to eliminate all Vikings game virgins. OK it's not really. That actually sounds terrible. Sorry parents.

Cassandra graduated on Wednesday. She's cool. Because she intended to put extensions in my hair for free, but better cash that check I gave her or I'll have to pay her double. She's also cool because we understand each other. And she calls me her hetero-lifemate which makes me laugh. I think I might love her.

Don't read into that.

Another weekend done. 1 fantasy football draft down and 1 to wrap up on Tuesday.

Another busy week ahead of me at work but I feel good about it as I actually had some time to work at home this weekend. Productive feels good.

House hunting is going well. Hope to look at a few places in uptown on Tuesday. Wish me luck. At least wish me uncracked foundations and shagless carpet!

Friday, August 05, 2005


It's been so long, I don't even know what it is that I'm trying to catch up on. Other than sleep.

It's August and I was still writing about June. Russ commented that he missed July entirely. And July, it missed me.

I would drive 5 hundred miles and I would drive 500 more... I drove almost 600 miles over July 4th weekend. The following weekend, journeyed up to Pine River for the weekend. Made it just past Pequot Lakes before 3rd car in front of me suffered a head-on collision killing the driver instantly and seriously injuring the driver and passenger of the southbound vehicle. They were airlifted to Fargo. It was horrifying. There are 2 twists of fate. First, about 30 minutes prior I'd wanted to change to a CD located out of my reach in my backseat. I decided I was only 45 min away and could tough it out but 5 minutes later it got the best of me and I pulled onto the shoulder to swap CD's. I didn't pay real close attention but only a couple cars passed me. The truck in front of me was driving me nuts but I couldn't get an opportunity to pass him. He was speeding, then riding his brake to 50 mph. Up to 80 and back down, mixing it up with a swerve every now and then. I backed off, giving him plenty of room to move. Had I not changed CD's, maybe I would have beaten the accident. Or maybe I would have been in it. If I wouldn't have put a quarter mile between me and the truck, there's no doubt I would have smashed into him. He hit the ditch, I followed to avoid debris and the grounded vehicle. 3 others after us. He blew a tire and didn't have a full-size spare; the other 3 all lost at least 2. I somehow managed to escape with all 4 tires and an unscathed vehicle. Pulled every muscle in my lower-left back but by some grace of God made it alive and able to carry on without too much trouble. It did squash my wakeboarding hopes, but maybe that's a blessing in disguise as well. After all, the dog jumped out of the boat not realizing of course that his hind legs were resting on the board sending it soaring into my shin. Who else gets a blood-drawing wakeboarding injury while inside the boat? With the anchor down.

I tried rollerblading, borrowing Cory's balance, but it hurt my back even more. So I rested. The marathon will have to wait. I even demoted myself to "beer girl" at volleyball. Quite a big step for me as I don't remember the last time I missed a game of anything due to injury. And it's not that I'm not always injured :) Missed 2 weeks of marathon training and eased back into it the week of the 25th. Decided to be a rockstar and ran with Club Run on Monday. We ran 2.5 miles to Kenwood park where we did 3 miles worth of 400m repeats. That is 12 - 400 meter sprints separated by 45 seconds or resting. My IT band prevented me from running back to the Target Center. Coach Mark was kind enough to let me ride his bike. The combination of it being too tall for me and my innate awkwardness on a bike allowed the runners to beat me back to the gym. Sad but true! It was comical. When I had to stop for a red light, I had to gingerly navigate the bike to the curb so my foot could reach the ground. My complete inability to practice moderation put me out of training again this week. My IT band injury resurfaced and I'm doing the right thing by taking care of it so as not to worsen the situation. Still, I'm bound and determined to run on October 2nd. I've just modified my 3:45 goal to 4:30. A 4.5 hour first-time marathon time is OK by me.

We definitively won our first playoff match - we played solid volleyball. Let's hope it carries over to next week! Better be sunny, I think I talked Russ into boating over. Congratulations to Adam and Sheila who welcomed Avery on Saturday. She's a peanut - born 6 lbs 19".

Officially started the house hunt tonight! Saw 3 houses in NE. I like the area but we're going to check uptown/St. Louis Park next. Closer to the lakes, Minnetonka and the houses have more character. Wish me luck. I might have committment issues when it comes to location. And the zip code range I'm interested in keeps growing. On second thought, wish my realtor luck. I doubt she realized I was such a problem child. Looking for a house? Evon is a superstar.

The Twins are going to win tomorrow. Becasue I'll be at the dome. And although I'd like to say they never lose when I'm in attendence, it was brought to my attention that I did see them lose in May. And perhaps a few other times. It's just that they win most of the time. Is that good enough? This time, I promise not to ruin Christmas.

My Vikings streak is still intact however. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Maybe losses are just so traumatic, my subconscious blocks the memory in defense of sanity.

34 days until kickoff!

Saturday, I have my first Jägermeister gig. I'm nervous but excited. Cassandra and Jeff are going to be there for moral support. I mean, sombody's got to support my morals right?

Oatmeal Cookies and JägerBombs,

Monday, July 25, 2005

Further Behind

Un-New York City (June 24):

  • Grrrrrls
  • Calhoun
  • The Tonka Tradition
  • Boys

    Saturday's Child is Full of Friday's Beer and Pizza (June 25):

  • Pacemaker 5000
  • Rabbit Whisperer
  • Nickerson Rules

    Vikings vs. Volleyball (June 29):

  • Tony
  • Kleinsasser
  • Fans

    OK, this is painful, but I have to go to bed. I'm almost positive I'm chasing my tail. Someday I'll catch it and catch up!

    Have a great week, stay cool and dry!

  • Tuesday, July 05, 2005


    I've always considered coincidences to be lucky. Even though sometimes they're scary, they're nearly always interesting. At worst? Mildly annoying. Being surrounded with them, however, can have a bit of a claustrophobic effect.

    So I'm blessed with more than my fair share of near misses, odd connections and the circling logic that connects it all in the end. What are the chances that in a sea of 40+ thousand, I would run into 2 people I'd met 2 days prior? And I saw them on separate occasions - Kevin, before the race and Craig, post-pavement-pounding. How many people do you know that meet new people at the bar, join their volleyball league, practice once, set up a date for 2 days later and in between practice and the date, end up in a conversation with a completely unrelated group from which one asks if by chance, you'd know the person you practiced with and have a date with the next evening. Pick a name, any name and scare the beat right out of my heart!

    So the third time is the charm, right?

    Lisa is on the volleyball team mentioned above. She happens to play Monday nights downtown and needed a sub on the 13th of all numbers. I'm not one to pass up playing anything if I'm not otherwise committed so I took the opportunity to fit in a good run before the games. We played our match - first game in full sun and that thick sticky air that makes it hard to breathe. So much so that we were relieved when it started raining during the 2nd game. Big fat warm raindrops that cooled so nicely as they evaporated. And then the wind started up turning the pleasant evaporation into more of a sand-blasting effect. It was hard to play and they'd just called the games but we were almost done so we finished the 3rd game before heading to the Refuge for a couple of air conditioned beers. Somehow we managed not to get hypothermia and I had a great time getting to know the team. We talked about everything from work to fantasy football and they definitely caught my attention when they said they might have an opening in their auction-style league this fall. Hopefully they'll keep me in mind. The A/C did finally get the best of us and we began the soggy way home. Lisa was kind enough to give me a ride, I'm pretty sure I would have melted if I would have tried it on foot.

    Rewind two weeks. I keep in touch with a handful of co-workers from Norwest - OK Wells Fargo. Larry was always my favorite and we've been successfully keeping in touch about once a year since my departure in '98. I e-mailed Larry to see how life was treating him and caught up on things over the first week of June.

    Imagine my surprise when I receive another e-mail from him on the 17th simply stating:

    "So I hear you were quite the volleyball sub on Monday."

    It turns out that he knows the guys on the team because he plays fantasy football with them. Yes, he's on the league I was soliciting. They get together every Thursday and every Thursday Larry asks how volleyball went. The usual recap ensues with one of the team members explaining that Lisa brought in a sub. Details given were that I am: Asian, a huge Vikings fan and that I ran to the courts. Larry interjected - "I think I know that girl!" They of course were in disbelief until he came up with my name.

    I'll use Larry's descriptor for the situation. Haunting.

    And you just can't escape it. Which is why it's important to be nice.

    Wednesday, June 15, 2005


    What has happened in the last week, you ask?

    I don't know.

    I don't remember.

    Perhaps there is a reason I can't.

    Maybe what I don't know, won't hurt me.

    Now that's naive.

    But that's my middle name.

    If you have any information leading to the arrest of my runaway memories, please contact me immediately. Depending on whether the memory you return is good or bad, a reward may be in store. And don't get me wrong, the bad memories might be more valuable to have back in my head. I just have to hope that they haven't skipped town stowed away in someone else's.

    Oy vey!

    Last week's case file:

    Monday spent quality time with Jill and Kevin in Champps alley on her birthday. Enjoyed Bud Light and Kevin's surprise I was drinking it since I was adamantly opposed to it last summer. Even stated that if I could stomach the first one I could probably drink the 2nd. I failed to finish the first. That being said, I didn't like Miller Light the first time I drank it but by the 2nd time, I'd given up Mich Golden Light in favor of it. Then I hated Coors Light when I got to Texas but left with no other choices, succumbed to it by the 3rd or 4th try. And now, Bud Light has grown on me. So I'm impressionable. But more importantly, I support my friends. Russ, this Bud's for you. And this one's for me. Or these 2 are for me. OK, fine, all 3 are for me, get your own.

    Tuesday. Tuesday, what the hell happened to Tuesday? Oh yes, kickball. I am an honorary member of the Greasy Cooters. I even have my own t-shirt which I will wear proudly because I'm madly in love with it. I feel horrible that I didn't make it out to the field or the bar tonight but I needed the time off. From beer.

    The good thing about Wednesdays is that I know what happens. Volleyball. Fletcher's volleyball. I love that almost as much as my Greasy Cooters t-shirt. Had a couple of beers before and after the games, nothing out of the ordinary except that it was absolutely deliciously gorgeous outside. Beats the hell out of the usual Wednesday rainstorms.

    Thursday we played in place of Josh and Becky who were busy enjoying margaritas on a beach in Mexico. We got whooped. And unrightfully so. We just never got a rhythm going. Everyone was kind of down after the match but while Russ mingled, I hung out with Shayna, her sister Annie and friends Kris and... again I want to call her Amanda, but it's Missy? Shoot. You know when you meet someone and get their name wrong and don't find out about your error until hours later so eternally they're known as the wrong name by your subconscious and man, if we could only control our subconscious, life would be good. Kris plays guitar for Gingerjake and happens to be shopping around for a web designer. I don't think I can handle the job due to the time commitment issue, but he thinks they may have found someone so maybe I could get the updates or take pictures for them or something. Anyway, they're all a lot of fun and I'm grateful for meeting so many great people randomly or not. Russ, Annie and I played again at 9:15 and lost all 3 again. This time we didn't feel so responsible as we were probably the strongest of the team members. Still, it's not fun to lose 6 games in 1 night. On the way back to the bar we ran into Russ' neighbors, they served up some captains and I supplied a couple more rounds before the night was over. Made friends with the bartender which is good but bad because that means you get more of your fair share of captain in your drink. I jumped the bar to pay my tab, have pictures of people I don't know well and barely recall the ride home. Not so excellent. Liquor dissolves my maturity. And therefore it must not be consumed. In mixed company. Damn it.

    Friday, Trevor was in town from St. Cloud. We had sushi at Kikugawa which is perhaps the most perfect food in the entire world. Seriously, insanely delicious! It was a beautiful night so we walked along Main Street a bit and I showed him the Stone Arch Bridge. We met Jill at Durkins for a couple and then headed downtown - where else but the Refuge and the Drink!? It was fun, there was mad dancing and beer intake and of course, Pizza Luce and drunk conversation followed.

    Saturday I got to sleep in! Walked to the Lyon's Pub for lunch where was punished for the burger enjoyment with horrible blisters from shoes I've worn 100 times before. They still hurt. We braved the walk home with the aide of bar band-aids and refrained from the nap-taking that sounded so so good. Played some volleyball in Father Hennepin Park and decided to hit the grocery store for dinner. I made veggies and dip, dinner and crescent rolls (of course) and we had a couple of beers before heading up to Biff's to see Boogie Wonderland. I was very excited because we were meeting Stacy, Brian, Ginny and Todd and I got to catch up with Lonnie (lead guitar) who I haven't seen for nearly 3 years. It's so cool to have friends you can miss for 3 years and pick right back up where you left off. I might even buy one of his old guitars and pick it up again. Rock on. We stopped at Majors on the way back to the Meyer household and Trevor and Brian found out they are related by Brian's uncle marrying Trevor's aunt. Unbelievable. The world keeps getting smaller! After the bar, we played another Texas Hold Em tournament. I won both rounds! Came home $80 richer and had to borrow $5 for the initial buy-in. Beginner's luck? Probably, gotta play some more to find out! I enjoy playing although I have a really hard time playing with friends in that I feel guilty as hell if I take their chips. It's stupid really because it's not like I'm upset or concerned when they take mine - let me introduce you to my overactive conscience.

    Sunday spent the entire afternoon at the beach on Lake Calhoun. Got very sunburned. I have a distinct mark where my swimsuit tie laid on my back. Ouch! Luckily, the burn was gone by Monday night and I'm a tan baby ready for summer!

    Played volleyball with Lisa's team downtown last night (another reason very thankful sunburn turned golden within 24 hours). First game was gorgeous, 2nd game warm downpour, 3rd game chilly downpour + wind = very cold. We won 1 out of 3 and headed to the Refuge for the volleyball specials. We had great conversation and I hope to sub for them again. It's an open night for me and I love playing downtown plus they're cool and hang out at our bar! What more can you ask for? Oh yeah, they might have an opening in their auction draft fantasy football league. Sweetness!

    OK so I remember quite a lot. That's a relief. I suppose I could blame old age but it's more likely the alcohol.

    Wish us luck at volleyball tomorrow night, it's supposed to be great weather!

    Enjoy the rest of the week and join us at Sommerfest at Gasthof's on Saturday night! 5pm-10pm and afterwards to Mario's or other nearby NE venue. Das Boot is calling your name!

    Don't forget to give your Dad a big bear hug on Sunday.

    Sunday, May 22, 2005


    My goal was not to become famous. But it's kind of fun.

    Jill's aunt Luann threw her 50th birthday party at Gasthof's on Thursday. The tent was in full swing for Maifest and Luann rented the whole thing out, security, bartenders, snuff, shots, Mario, the whole ball of wax. Jill and her cousins handed out tokens while I shot 330 pictures. Bill Koncar and his band put on a great show as always. Not only did we get to help Luann celebrate with her family and friends, but we got to know the staff. Jill was quick to tell them about Saturday's birthday bash and they all promised to help us celebrate, even Bill Koncar.

    In between Gasthof's outings, I met Susie and Emily out for a couple drinks at the Bird. Craig and Kevin enrolled us in Silver Strike Bowling. I'm awful! Kevin and Craig were going to be at the Race for the Cure on Sunday too, so we joked about finding each other in the sea of tens of thousands.

    Saturday arrived and the morning light woke me hours too soon. Even still Jill and I got ready to rock out with Baja Sol. We headed out to Maifest at 5:30. Security escorted us promptly to the bar where the bartender had 5 Jägermeister shots waiting. He then led me to the beer-man and instructed him to "take care of [me] all night". He proceeded to fill my huge "Norm" beer mug to the top and refused my money. Mario then gave me a bag of tokens and ordered me and my friends to have a fun night. Shortly after finding a table, the other bartender arrived with apple shots for everyone. I told Sandra I'd probably end up face down on the ground by the end of the night! She promised to hold my hair. I love her.

    I chatted with the Hammer-Schlagen couple as they were setting up the game. I've always wanted to know what the scoop is and the usual crowd was missing so I took the opportunity to get educated. I failed my first lesson miserably. After at least 12 tries without even grazing the nail, I flipped the hammer around and pounded the nail in with the flat side.

    Jill's sister Pam arrived with CJ and Katie. Landon soonafter. Andy brought a friend and I lost track of time between the Jäger and the polka! I think I went outside to use the bathroom or take a phone call and in fact, may have, but inevitably, I was drawn to the Hammer-Schlagen. It's a force not to be reckoned with. The gal running the show saw me and stopped the game already in progress. She said, "Wait, wait! It's her birthday, you gotta let her in!" The guys looked less than enthused but obliged. When the hammer came to me I lined it up carefully next to the fresh nail placed just for me, pursed my lips, closed my eyes and took my best shot. And like magic, the pointed end of that awkward hammer drove that nail flush with the trunk! Everyone was in disbelief. I turned excitedly, ready to showcase my trophy to my friends but was greeted with a familiar face. At first we weren't sure why, but it didn't take long to realize we played volleyball at Fletchers on opposing teams. Meet Josh and his bachelor party. He's marrying Becky in 2 days did marry Becky on 5/14. We talked, I met some of his friends and it turns out they need a female volleyball player. I jumped at the chance to play at Fletchers again, it's so great when it's sunny. Russ promised to call and he did. I just hope I can live up to their expectations (I was drunk. OK, very drunk. I wanted to play so badly. They asked if I was any good. I'm sure I told them I was). Hopefully they won't hold me to it. Or maybe I should start practicing.

    Finally, I reconnect with Jill. By now, everyone but Landon has gone home. We went inside for maybe 5 minutes before deciding to hit the road. After all, I had to get up at 5:45 to catch the train to the Mall of America. I was asleep before midnight.

    Sunday morning's Race for the Cure was rough! Somehow, I maneuvered my way out of bed, into my running gear and ran to the station to barely catch the 6:10 train. I sleepwalked through the mall, got some breakfast, picked up my shirt and stopped by the main entrance trying to shake the cobwebs. Who is standing right in front of me? Kevin. Unbelievable! We chatted for awhile and headed out to the start line. The 5K itself went surprisingly well considering - I finished in 26:06. Running hard in humidity after drinking heavily and not drinking enough water is bad. Not only did I think I was going to pass out while waiting for the gun start, but I pulled my IT band - the muscle that runs down the outside of your thigh. It turns into a tendon which attaches to your knee. The pain in my knee was so awful I thought I had seriously injured the joint. I'm thankful it's only a pulled muscle as it will heal with proper rest. As I was limping back to the train station, I hear "Cari, why are you gimping around?!" It was Craig. How can this be? I'd overheard someone say that some 40,000 people were there and I randomly run into both people I'd just met 2 days prior?? I limped myself home just in time to take a shower before my Mom got to my place. We went to Vic's and had a great brunch. Then we watched the entire 1st season of Sex and the City. It was a great Mother's Day!

    I've been writing the above for 2 weeks now. To prevent this post from taking over the entire website, I will attempt to keep the rest brief.

    Mom, Jill and I went to the Sunshine Factory for my birthday dinner Tuesday. Mom spoiled me as always. I have a full length mirror now - no more standing on a stool to assess the outfit situation! Also a Yoga mat, new running clothes, lithium batteries and a polarized filter for my camera.

    I drove down to Fletchers after work Wednesday for a team practice which consisted of Russ, his friend Gina and I. I don't know if I was just nervous or feeling the pressure to perform, but I couldn't set to save my life. Gina left us for dinner plans after 15-20 minutes. The good news? I didn't have the chance to make too much of a fool out of myself. Bad news? I'd driven an hour to get there. Russ sympathized and we went inside to have a couple of beers. Which turned into 4 hours. The only thing I know for sure is that they're going to have me drinking nothing but Budweiser products by the end of the season.

    My Dad, Nancy and I had my birthday dinner at Chino Latino Thursday. I had sushi. I was in heaven! Nancy gave me a great necklace and my Dad a gift certificate to National Camera Exchange, my new favorite store.

    I met Mandy though Jill. Met Mandy's brother a couple of summers ago at Mandy's parents' annual volleyball tournament weekend. Ran into Brad at the 22 of all places last October. Brad calls Thursday at about 8 from Legends in Northeast. On the rare occasion that he was in the area, I went to meet him for a beer. It was a work function. The conversation was interesting, especially considering everyone started drinking at 3pm. Started talking to Bill about his relationship, life, etc. when he interjected, "You know, you really look familiar. I'm from Wayzata, do you go out there often?" To which I explained that I used to go to Fletchers a couple of years ago but haven't been there much since. He queried, "Do you know Russ [insert last name]?" I was dumbstruck. Perfect randomness. Out with the brother of a friend's friend and I would meet someone who knows the person I'd just met a week ago/saw the day before and had plans with the day after and they would spontaneously bring up his name as someone I may know. Turns out he's a friend of the family. He tried to give me stories, but I had to stop him. I wanted to find out for myself and definitely am not that girl!

    Russ and I saw the Twins take on the Rangers Friday night. It was a great game, lots of scoring and the Twins were up 6-2 until they let Texas tie in the 7th. We left in extra innings when MN gave up 2 runs. Finished the night off at Nochee. I didn't even know this place existed and it's very close to home. And it's nice. Russ knows the bartender. I think he knows everyone. Perhaps he's even more famous than I! When we walked up to the bar, I told Russ I knew the guy sitting there but I couldn't place from where. After a couple of beers I realized I'd met him while I was living in Dallas. He was hosting a friend of mine so when we all went out, we started from his place. He reminded me that we went tubing down the Apple River the next day. It's always interesting how paths cross.

    I spent Saturday with my Mom, did laundry and had Sawatdee's for lunch. They actually make their Pad Thai hot! Went bowling with Trevor who happens to be a very good bowler. I did get him 1 game though - I actually pulled out a 210 vs. his 204. I was picking up ridiculous splits. Anything to avoid the 3 splits missed = you doing the splits rule!

    What a great weekend. I want to wash, rinse and repeat that one over and over again.

    Monday = happy hour = shots = drunk phone calls = memory loss = oops. Just thank God for a sense-of-humor.

    Part of the work team went to the Original Sports Bar at the MOA for dinner and basketball on Tuesday night. We've got such a great team - I just hope we get to go to California next time. I'll bet they wouldn't mind - I don't think MN is their favorite place to travel to!

    Wednesday was our first game. We decided to get off of work early and hang out for awhile. This allowed me to avoid rush hour traffic and time to unwind before the big game which was rained out but not before we were out on the court soaking wet! We stuck around the bar to dry off a bit. It was fun to meet the team. They're a great bunch of people. I feel pretty lucky to have met them.

    I actually got to see Jill Hyser on Thursday! She thought I was never going to be home ever again, even thought about sending out a search party. We watched Sex and the City and caught up. We definitely don't get enough girl time.

    OK, that's all for now. So much for being concise! Have a great week! I just hope it's warm and sunny - at least on Tuesday and Wednesday! And I'm going to try to even stay home a few nights this week. As if.

    Saturday, May 14, 2005

    Rated NC-17

    Went to the Twins game last night.

    Sat next to 2 small boys and their Dad.

    Said "Shit" and cowered afterwards too many times.

    Also said, "I think I believed in Santa Claus until then"

    To which Russ responded, "First you're a trucker, now you're ruining Christmas!"

    Thankfully I think the whole thing was lost on the boys and am certain they still believe in that guy in the big red suit.

    I topped the whole thing off by giving them the Wally the Beerman cards Russ got for us. I gave them beerman cards.

    I'm definitely destroying America's next generation.

    Tuesday, April 19, 2005


    What a fantastic weekend!

    Friday, Randy, Sherry, Mike and I headed up to the Green Mill after work on Friday to celebrate one more time with the bowling league. And to collect our championship money :)

    Afterwards, Randy, Sherry, Chris and I headed downtown for the Ron White show. It was hysterical! We'd heard that he repeats a lot of his older material but he only repeated his best stuff. And even that had a new spin to it. I wish I could remember more of his jokes even though I'd only succeed at putting them to shame. Randy & Sherry had to head up north so they dropped me off at home around 9.

    Miss Sutherlin and I headed out to Old Chicago where we ran into Ty and we braved the rain together as we headed to the Drink. Where we ran into Rob, Adam, etc. and went with them to the Lodge. It's a nice place but a $6 cover charge? Sadly I didn't see Tony until after paying. From there we ventured to Northeast running into who else but Scott Althaus on the way. We played volleyball together 2 years ago and have run into each other at several different places at least a half dozen times since then. He'd misplaced his friends so he joined us at the karaoke bar. Rob sang Crazy Train and we headed to White Castle. I love jalapeno burgers!

    Saturday morning, I crawled out of bed and headed to the Target Center for a quick workout before heading up to Duluth. I met Randy, Sherry, Tom, Lori and Randy's daughter Heather at Grandma's for dinner, picked up some goods at the LQ and headed to Derek's to see them off to their Lacrosse game. The game (vs. the U of M) was awesome. UMD came out strong but a U of M injury disrupted the momentum. The guy was on the field for at least 30 minutes before being carted off to the hospital. Last I'd heard, his head injury didn't end up being too serious. The Gophers came back and led by 2 with 3 minutes to go. UMD scored 3 goals to win the game. 2 of them within 40 seconds!

    We stopped at the hotel and walked to Grandma's to celebrate. I had intentions of bar hopping, going to Superior, a college kegger. But ended up spending the entire night at Grandma's. After having dinner at Grandma's. I went up to Duluth and went to one bar! But had a blast. I introduced Kendra to the infamous Chocolate Cake shot and hung out with Derek's friends. I'll give you 1 guess at their ages. <laughing> Duluth is the new Vegas.

    We danced until we couldn't take the heat any longer. I paid my $15 bar tab (that supplied 4 people. Yes, I love Duluth!) and we headed to the hotel. It was just gorgeous outside. Perfect post-bar walking weather. Randy, Heather, Tom and Lori returned from Superior at 3am. We enjoyed another brew or 2 before finally turning in for the night... er morning.

    Randy & Sherry headed to Derek's 10:30 game, Tom & Lori relaxed at the hotel and Nick & I headed to his friends' house. I decided to drink the beer Randy slipped into my bag at 11:30. Then someone had the bright idea for bloody maries. I forgot that the morning-after-beer-Beer makes you drunk very fast. Throwing the football helped me keep my balance and from falling asleep! We hung out there in the sunshine until showtime.

    Met at Derek's and headed to the Decc. Larry the Cable Guy was hilarious! I laughed so hard at his Christmas Carols, it hurt!

    We headed back to Minneapolis right after the show. Stopped in Hinckley for some food after I realized I hadn't eaten all day. Only some cereal at the hotel. Nick reminded me that I passed up pizza and later, KFC. He's smarter than I. He wasn't hungry either but knew better than not to eat since that might be (and was) our last chance for sustenance! Sometimes I wonder if this college education is really doing anything!! One Red Bull later, I was finally not fighting off what felt like imminent sleep. That drive would have been impossible without him talking to me the whole way home!

    I made it safely home at 10pm. I was pleasantly surprised since I'd half-expected to get home at midnight. I even got a chance to catch up with my Hyser! I absolutely cannot wait for this Saturday. It's a girls' day! We're going to the Vikings Draft Party on Saturday, Bobino for dinner (finally spending the $50 GC) and then out for the typical libations.

    Rock on.

    Enjoy the week!

    Friday, April 15, 2005

    Exhaustion Induced Clumsiness

    I'm suffering from the above. I am so tired I have lost all coordination (what small lot of cordination I had to begin with!)

    A co-worker borrowed one of my extra chairs and returned it without my knowing. Other co-workers were waiting for me to head out for lunch. In my haste, I failed to see the chair obstruction, ran it over, hung desperately onto the arm as it rolled into the wall, stopping abruptly and sending me shoulder first into the metal door frame with a clang. Just loud enough so that everyone in the office area poked their heads out to assess the situation. I tripped down the last couple of chairs and warned the group that I may be a liability today. I made it through lunch without any chopstick mishaps but tripped into the truck on the way out and bruised my knee.

    I will not be driving tonight. In fact, I'm considering leaving my car at work and taking a cab home. It would be my contribution to the community.

    I will try to stay safe and sane tonight. We head to the bowling banquet cocktail hour at 4:30. For bragging rights and to collect our championship money. Then onto Ron White. Afterwards, I'm sure I'll meet the girls out and try to avoid the 22 year olds.

    Other notables:

  • I finished the Old Chicago Spring Mini Tour (A heartfelt "thank you" to those friends and strangers who helped contribute to the cause) with Kris who I hadn't seen in what seems like years. And they had small t-shirts. I love Old Chicago. Almost as much as Old Chicago loves me.

  • Did you know that if you finish 10 beer tours, you get a 40 oz. pewter mug that you can keep at your favorite Old Chicago? And they'll fill it up with your favorite brew for 2.50. 1,100 beers. Excellent.

  • Kris and I have to get together more often. Because we can.

  • I met Jill Sutherlin when Jill Hyser redeemed her free bar tab at the Wild Onion 2 years ago. We had our share of martinis and a cute waiter. We must have made quite the impression because he recognized us. 2 years later. Regarding the 22 year old rule, he might have been 22 then, but he's not 22 anymore. So there.

  • I spend too much time in bars downtown. On my runs home from the Target Center, I happen by quite a few of the usual places. I think it's a bad sign when you're running and several of the bar bouncers stop you to say hi. At different bars.

  • Thursday, March 10, 2005


    I own the Internet!

    I am writing from the comfort of my own home. It's amazing. I haven't done this for over 2 years!

    This is going to be terribly random as I have a million things to say and T minus 40 seconds to say them.

    Dad, thanks for the chicken! They bake up so quick and crispy in the convection oven - take comfort in knowing that your daughter will be well-nourished! Before and after the bar. :)

    I'm looking for a townhouse/condo/loft. And using it for motivation to THROW STUFF AWAY. I haven't tackled the storage locker yet, but don't worry, I'll make sure I wear the appropriate safety gear before endangering my life.

    The Minneapolis 500 Club tournament is next Saturday. I just hope I don't forget to release the ball and end up half-way down the lane.

    It was 60 degrees on Sunday - there's no way I can move away from the river. There's something calming about the river in the sunshine. As long as you're not being carried over the dam by it.

    Thanks to whoever hit my passenger door in the parking lot presumably at work.

    I was actually able to do some work on Cory's site tonight. I didn't accomplish everything I wanted but it is a start. And next time I work at home, I won't have to waste an hour removing Oracle and setting up the firewall/anti-virus crap.

    On a more somber note, there's a reason why I had time to organize and work on the website. Normally I suppose I'd be hanging out with Ryan, probably watching a movie or just going to bed. We'd hit a rough spot. I don't want to say too much - I respect Ryan's privacy and feelings and want to protect all that we had and whatever is left. But this is my outlet and I need to be honest and own up to the fact that things have changed. This isn't going to be easy and I'm really trying to let myself feel the hurt instead of my usual pain response which is to run away from it until it doesn't hurt anymore. Thank you to my friends who have hugged me and known when and when not to ask if everything's all right.

    Tuesday, August 17, 2004

    Standing Ovation

    La Belle Vie left nothing to be desired. What an amazing evening!

    We got to Stillwater in no time. We arrived early, were greeted with warmth and served with enthusiasm and class.

    Their menu consists of very unique dishes - we had such a hard time deciding! Our server encouraged us to take our time and brought the best bread I've ever tasted to enjoy with our wine.

    We decided to start with Bruchetta which was refreshingly different. Grilled sourdough topped with a generous layer of tomato, garlic, green onion, basil and capers. Boring is no word to describe the palate of flavors in all of their dishes.

    We chose Beef Carpaccio for our first course. It was absolutely amazing. It was stuffed with steak tartare and served with a delicate white truffle sauce, wild mushrooms and wax bean accents. The mixture of flavors was nothing short of exhilarating.

    I'll count our second course as the 2nd basket of bread for which our hunger was insatiable. 3 words - New French Bakery. Mmm-mm.

    Ryan had the Beef Tenderloin with warm potato salad. The texture and fullness of the flavor was unbelievable. I chose the halibut served over sweet corn with a lobster, mushroom salad. The sweetness of the corn with the tender flavor of the fish was like nothing else I've ever known. We were in heaven!

    We left feeling completely satisfied and anxious for our next visit. Sadly, the Stillwater location will be closing this year and re-opening downtown Minneapolis. You might think I'd be happy since it will be within a mile from my place, but the aspect we enjoyed the most was the quaintness and personal attention. I don't see how that won't be sacrificed by moving to the city. I'm sure the menu will continue to be impressive and no doubt your mouth will leave happy, but there's something to be said about the overall dining experience. I hope I'm wrong, but I'm so afraid it will blend into every other upscale restaurant in Minneapolis. My suggestion? Make your reservation and enjoy an afternoon in Stillwater soon. It's a beautiful town, romantic and playful and your stomach will thank you!

    After dinner, we walked up and down Main Street stopping in where we were inclined for a drink. We half-watched the Packers lose when we weren't lost in each other's smiles.

    I'm the luckiest girl in the entire world.


    Monday, August 16, 2004


    We were putting up runs like nobody's business on Friday. Pro Service didn't stand a chance. Final score was 23-1.

    Also, I escaped without injury. I didn't even have to slide, dive or execute any double-twist, double-tuck, and front-layout combinations.

    I grilled on Saturday - whipped up a mesquite barbecue pork tenderloin, potatoes, onions and mushrooms and roasted corn. I'm still getting to know my grill - seems that for indirect heat, you do have to put coals on both sides and cook in the middle - piling the heat up on one side with the meat on the other cooks far too slowly. So this was another meal in courses - fresh mozzerella garlic bread, followed by corn and finally the main course. Meanwhile, the Vikings were beating the Cardinals in our pre-season debut. It's rumored that Denny Green shed a tear as he left the dome.

    At about 10pm, Ryan, Kevin, Noah, Steve and Chris walked to Nye's, then to Champps where we met Nate and Chara/Charlie/Char... I feel awful because "Char" and I spend much of the night talking incessantly and I really really like her - even gave her my e-mail address so we can keep in touch and yet it seems I may have mis-heard her name since I thought it was "Char" and Ryan heard "Chara" or "Charlie" with a soft "ch". Anyway, we had a lot of fun and hopefully the Minneapolis newbies enjoyed the scene. We all piled into Nate's Liberty and had another beer at Hyser's & my place. Naturally ABC made it into the mix and proved everyone knows the words to "Iesha".

    Sunday, Ryan and I enjoyed the best turkey sandwiches ever and watched the US get tromped on by Puerto Rico. It's no longer the Dream Team folks. The volleyball action was much better and geared us up for Fletchers. We headed up an hour early and ran some drills. Seemed to help us a lot - Ryan and I had a rhythm all 3 games. We won all 3 and stuck around for some just-for-fun play. I'm working on my setting. The goal for next year is to have my back-set down. Maybe even the upside-down-backwards-between-the-legs set.

    Today is Ryan and my 1 year anniversary. It's hard to believe it's already been 365 days! I've felt lucky every single day since we met and can't imagine being anywhere else or anywhere safer. We're celebrating at La Belle Vie in Stillwater. Instead of the rain they predicted last week, it should be very pleasant - sunny and 70's. Perfect for a nice post-dinner walk. I can hardly wait!

    Tuesday, February 17, 2004

    Valentine's Road Warriors

    Ryan took me to W.A. Frost in St. Paul. We were seated at a quiet table by the fire. It was wonderful. The food was awesome. He had roasted duck and I had Kamut & Wild Mushroom Roulade. It was as fancy as it sounds. Afterwards we took in some live music at the Turf Club. As if we could resist the Golden Tee. Ryan's getting to be quite the professional. Finishing below par and all. Me, I'm just happy to not be ending with a +40 something! We went to meet up with Weber thinking some drunken comedy was in order but he'd already went home. Or passed out. We're still not sure which story to believe :) But seriously, we had one for the beer tour and I got a free pizza. We stopped at Ryan's for a few movies and headed home to open our valentine's gifts. Ryan gave me 2 cards, a funny one and a more serious one, a box of pot of gold turtles that self-destructed within 30 seconds and the most adorable tank set from Victoria's Secret. I gave Ryan a box of Godiva goodness and tickets to the Marijuana-logues. We marveled over the treasure filled chocolates and fell asleep in each other's arms.

    I reluctantly got out of bed, started laundry and hopped back into bed every chance I got. We packed up the car and headed out at about noon. Stopped at Chipotle for lunch. I parked in a 15 minute zone, we got in line and Ryan commented on a Park Ranger seated at one of the tables. He asked if they were police officers. I said, I'm not sure, but they've got to be a division of the police anyway, my cousin used to be one. I look over and who is sitting across from the Park Ranger? The one and only, former-Park Ranger, current police officer cousin Adam. What are the chances? So we ate and then stopped by to talk a minute. It had been 17 minutes when I said, I'm probably getting a parking ticket as we speak so we should get going - he said, nah, there's no way their timing would be that good. He obviously doesn't know my luck as not only did I have a parking ticket, also a ticket for expired tabs as the rental car's registration was only good through January. Excellent. We were on the road by 1pm and happily in Dubuque at 5:15. Kevin took us to a work party where there was free beer and belt buckles the size of Texas. We went to a few bars and tried to figure out why nobody goes out on Fridays. There are at least 6,000 college students within 20 miles and no other pseudo-cities anywhere nearby and yet there were 14 people in each bar. Actually the Coliseum started to fill up at about 1:30. Strange, but I suppose you do have to consider the fact that we're talking about Iowa. Tara picked us up from the bar and was nice enough to bring us through the drive-thru for some much needed McDonalds breakfast. Naturally there were Cari-isms. It might have been the alcohol.

    We went to IHOP and bowling on Saturday afternoon. Had a sub-par experience at a new italian place Giunta's but at least the company was good, stopped home to take in the rest of the Slam Dunk competition and headed out to see Kevin's old boss's band play. We stopped at the Broken Lift again and back to the Coliseum where Tara and I somehow ended up dancing in a cage. It was not my idea. Bacardi made me do it. It also made me quite sick. Actually, maybe the dancing made me sick. We slept until 1pm. Ordered Pizza Hut and headed out. We stopped at Champps and were in bed by 10pm.

    I think I'm still sleeping.

    What a great time. Kevin's doing really well for himself but would like to get out of Dubuque. The Quad Cities might be in his near future. He should get whatever he wants. He's nice. And he's from the BP. Duh.

    2 more weeks of this semester; 6 more weeks of bowling. We're postponing the housewarming party again - parking is scarce at the apartment with all the snow and who wants to walk 2-3 blocks in the winter?!? Plus we have this HUGE patio for barbecuing and well, I won't have school and wouldn't have just dropped an insane amount of money on my car (adding $175 for the car rental and $150 for the parking ticket/speeding ticket brings the grand total to $1625 since mid-December).

    Hope you're all doing well! Don't forget to use your turn signals and for cripe's sake, don't speed by State Troopers!

    Tuesday, December 09, 2003

    A List of Things

  • I aced my mid-term!
  • But I'm still having trouble finishing all of the homework.
  • Therefore have agreed to start studying with some fellow classmates. Even the ones who infuriate me with their condescending questions.
  • Ryan helped me get the T-bird to the new apartment garage. Damn thing started right up. It's running like a dream! I really hate to sell it but I'm going to have to. Seriously, if you're interested in a nice old car that's going to be worth some cash sooner than later, let me know. I'm practically giving it away. It's listed at also!
  • Sunday Ryan and I went to the Vikings game. It was a great game! Seattle never got anything going. I've never seen the Vikings lose. Think I should write Mr. McCombs - he should be paying ME to come to the games! I love that we can walk to the dome in 10 minutes. Throwing the football the entire way!
  • In less than 2 weeks, I have 2 full weeks off... of bowling, school, and basket class. What am I going to do with myself?!?? Probably sleep the entire time.
  • Unlike popular belief, there is no requirement for every bar, restaurant, and store to play Outkast's Hey Ya over and over and over.

  • Friday, September 05, 2003


    I'm such a geek.

    It took almost a week, but Jeepers Creepers finally managed to get me.

    After school last night, I went for a run around the neighborhood. It was dark but the street lights are such that you only hit a dark spot about once a block. Naturally this occurred as I hopped over a yellow torn up t-shirt which reminded me of a kid in the movie. A girl had a vision of this boy on the side of the road. He was pointing, frantically trying to forewarn her of the danger ahead. He wore a yellow t-shirt with a tear strategically placed over his belly button which had a distinct tattoo surrounding it. Later, they find a weapon decorated with said belly button. Then of course the image of the Jeepers Creepers thing pops into my head just as I start to pass the cemetery. At first I thought this was funny - I mean, I found myself running faster thinking "I can outrun this punk". Then I couldn't get the image out of my head and was convinced he was right behind me and was going to get me if I didn't freaking hurry it up already! Every cricket, mayfly and whatever other noisy creatures were out that night immediately broke out into song. And then I swear something breathed on my neck. I guess this is could be a good thing because I managed to finish 2 minutes faster than usual. I think I should see Cabin Fever and then go camping.

    Ryan's coming to the softball game again tonight. Another chance for me to completely embarrass myself by tripping, falling and getting hit with the ball. Not sure what we're doing afterwards but I'm sure our friend Coors Light will be invited. I never did get to working on the T-bird. I pray it starts in the morning or I'll really have to kick my own ass. Anyway - hope you have a fabulous weekend - I promise I will! Watch your speed - troopers are out like mad!

    Wednesday, September 03, 2003

    Time Machine

    Instead of the usual whining about how insanely busy I've been, I'm going to delve right into it since I have over a week to cover. For the record though, I think if I don't find time to breathe sometime soon, I may spontaneously combust.

    Friday, August 22nd

    Since Ryan lives so close to where I play softball, he came to see us play. Hmm, I struck out the week before so brought a case of beer - maybe he came for the beer and not for the game! Despite major concern that I would embarrass myself by falling down, breaking something and/or striking out again, I played well - even had a couple of diving catches! We hung around for a couple of beers and then headed to Old Chicago for a couple more before crashing his buddy's bonfire in Minnetonka. Rum from the Dominican Republic is unbelievably tasty. And potent. Not necessarily in that order.

    Saturday, August 23rd

    Bright & early, picked up Jill and headed to Southdale for Mandy's bridesmaid dress shopping adventure. I say adventure because we had our first beer at 10:30am. Afterwards, Jill & I went to Ridgedale and bought purple and gold Puma tennis shoes for the Vikings games. They have little pockets, plus they were on sale! Also, I'm sure they'll help with the parking lot football playing. We had a low-key night at Fletchers. I know that seems impossible for us, but we did it. It's so nice to have a girls' night wherein you don't have to deal with misdirected guys or too much intoxication.

    Sunday, August 24th

    I went and saw Chad & Wendy's new house in Oakdale - it's a great place! After softball, I headed to BeBops for volleyball. After our games, we played for another hour or so until everyone was half in the bag. It's hard when everyone's trashed and you're not. Ryan & I opted out for a couple friendly games of darts and some coors light.

    Note to self: very late Sunday nights lead to falling asleep at Monday's physical therapy session, sports page in hand.

    Tuesday, August 26th

    Saw the first movie in the theater since James Bond! Ryan & I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean. It was great! Johnny Depp was excellent! It's nice to have someone to see movies with. Especially when he's hot.

    Thursday, August 28th

    Hyser & I took the afternoon off to go to the fair. I love the fair. We walked around just about non-stop enjoying things like chocolate malts, a cream puff, roasted corn and of course cheese curds. Also it wouldn't be the state fair if I didn't have a pronto pup. We left at about 6 and had dinner at Joe Senser's. Is it weird to go out to dinner after the state fair? Psssh, whatever - senser fries are unbeatable!

    Friday, August 29th

    Another afternoon off with Hyser. We went to Stone Arch first to sign our lease and then to 13 Moons for lunch. I think it'd be a better dinner place, but there was a cute guy in a visor that Jill was making eyes at! We went back to her place and sipped a few cold ones and read up on "sure fire ways to have him asking for more" in her girlie magazines. Pam stopped over and we headed out. We intended on going to Fletcher's and keeping the summer of 2003 tradition alive but there were only 5 cars in the parking lot. We decided to go to Baysides instead and managed to have a good time even with all of the pushing on the dance floor. An old guy paid for our drinks. In exchange I agreed to do a shot of tequila with him. It was about 6 ounces of tequila, I'm not kidding. There was something about cherries, and bartenders trying to shake their bon bons. It's just not clear in what order.

    Saturday, August 30th

    I woke up bright and early and headed to Rachel's. We piled into the Jimmy and headed to fabulous Tomah, WI to meet Julian and his wife Annelie. They were in Chicago on vacation from Sweden and were kind enough to meet us half way to see us! We had lunch, caught up on old times and went bowling. They're such an adorable couple - I'm so glad to see them happy. He is and always has been a great friend. He was a consultant at Green Tree in 96. We were inseparable for 2 summers filled with concerts, underage drinking and good times.

    I went for a run and then met Jill and Amy at a bonfire in Minnetonka. There was a lot of drinking and a neighbor girl from hell. Think small-town WT. Think starved for attention pathelogical liar. Made for some interesting conversation but in the end we had to go to avoid any knock down drag out situations.

    Sunday, August 31st

    Jill & I were bums until noon and then headed to Osseo for Thai food but they were closed. We checked out Golden Dragon but they were closed too! 90 minutes later we landed at Chi Chi's where my fork jumped out of my hand and onto my white shirt. Naturally it was full of red sauce. Quite the adventure. We burned CD's at Jill's parents and gave her brother a hard time. Or was it him giving us a hard time? It's hard to say. Ryan called from the Denver airport and we made plans to get together when he got back in town. I got home around 6:15 or so, got ready and headed to Blaine for Stacy and Brian's BBQ. I hadn't seen Susie in ages and it's always fun to party with her! Ryan got there at about quarter to 9. There was poker playing, girls singing and dancing, crazy convenience store shopping and mad picture taking. We won't mention the Jäg Bulls or the walk-over/front flip attempts on wet grass. We will mention that Ryan managed to win $25 and should get a bravery medal for driving the 40 minutes to a strange house full of strangers while silently suffering through jet-lag. What a guy. Did I mention that he's hot?

    Monday, September 1st

    Laid around and was completely unproductive although I did do a load of laundry and eat. Both important things. I met Ryan at 6:30 for a couple of beers before seeing Jeepers Creepers 2. It was what could be expected - entertaining but pretty bad acting and a ridiculous plot. Makes no difference really though because I'm such a sucker - I get scared at all the times when you're supposed to. At one of the down points I realized that I still had the death grip on his hand and was probably about to draw blood. How sad that I'm 26 and am actually buying into this beast who comes out every 23rd spring to eat for 23 days. At least it's worth a few laughs, right? Anyway, I thought this might satisfy the craving for something scary but I think it just intensified it. I think we're going to have to see Cabin Fever next week!

    Tuesday, September 2nd

    Here ends Berger's freedom. I started school yesterday! It wasn't too bad - I think I made good choices in classes. C++ shouldn't be too bad and my psych class is small and everyone seems really nice. Also, she said she likes to get out early so that's a huge plus. Instead of 10, it should be 9:15-9:30. Rock on.

    Today I'm taking Lyle out for happy hour as he was recently "work-force reduced" (tell me why don't they just say laid off anymore?). Then I'm going to work on the T-bird. Have to get it running for Saturday! I have someone looking at it at noon. I really hope he buys it. Tomorrow is another school day and Friday I have an early softball game and possibly a softball party afterwards. Sometime I'll sleep. But just in case I don't, how about taking a nap in my honor?

    Wednesday, August 20, 2003

    Local News Worthy

    After the Friday night softball game was won, Mom and I headed to Hudson. We stopped for dinner at the IHOP - their Country Griddle Pancakes have got to be illegal. I'm not allowed to run races anymore. I'm a total bottomless pit the day before. It's ridiculous! I got up at 6am, had a bowl of cereal and we headed to the races. It was hot. The worst kind - not only was there no breeze but it was incredibly humid. I didn't drink enough water - in fact I didn't have any water the night before or in the morning - I won't make that mistake again! After the first mile I didn't think I was going to make it! I actually considered walking after 2 miles. Even with the heat and the hills, I ended up improving by about a minute - 24:37! I made top 20 overall and was the 11th female. I was 5th in my age group. The best part of the whole thing was breakfast? the race director recommended San Pedros. It was unbelievable! Cool building, excellent food, awesome service. The whole 9 yards. I'd even make the trip just to eat there again!

    Jill, Mandy, Scot, Ryan and I met up at Gabe's at 3:30. We headed up to the Saints game at 6 - in plenty of time for us to get our Randy Moss hood ornaments. Instead of everyone carrying their prize, I asked for a bag at the souvenir stand. They handed over a bright red bag that said BIOHAZARD all over it. That's strangely appropriate. We had fun heckling the players and beer always tastes great in the ball park! Channel 5 news interviewed me about the hood ornaments. For about 5 minutes I'm not kidding. I'm not even sure what all I said other than making some digs on Moss. When I came into work on Monday, one of the guys remodeling our building stopped me and asked me if the Saints won on Saturday? yeah I think it's bad when complete strangers recognize you. Worse yet, one of our VP's came by and quipped, "Should I be asking you for your autograph?" He left saying that it looked like I was having a good time. Tell me, does that mean I sounded drunk??? I should have been more prepared to take some heat for this as Ryan & I left the game early and headed downtown. We were hanging out at Brother's with his friends and saw me, in living color, on the big screen. Now I wish it would have had sound so at least I'd know what ridiculous things they used! We eventually made our way to Rosen's and heated up the dance floor the rest of the night. After such a workout we replenished ourselves with Pizza Luce. Ryan's a lot of fun. We have a lot in common such as volleyball (how we met), running and fantasy football. He makes me laugh and well, he's hot.

    Sunday was Hoosier Daddy's first game. We played on turf!! We lost by 5 but we played well considering we didn't get a chance to practice! I went up to BeBops after the game - we lost our games but we had a good time playing for fun afterwards. It's amazing how much the play improves when there's no pressure and everyone's relaxed and having fun.

    Yesterday was my student orientation at St. Scholastica. I got a laptop and my schedule - I'll be taking C++ and Psychology in 2 weeks! I'm excited to get back to it, but not so thrilled about the time sacrifice. I'm worried about finding time to study in between 2 softball leagues, 2 bowling, volleyball, basket class and 2 nights of school. Hmm, more activities than there are days in a week. This ought to be interesting.

    Tonight is my fantasy football draft. I still haven't gotten together my player rankings but I have a good idea of what's going on so I think I'll be OK. I can't do much worse than last year so there isn't too much pressure! Wish me luck...

    Hope you're all having a good week! I'm busy as usual as you might have guessed by yet another super long post - this one only took me 2 days to write though so I'm improving :) Somebody sleep for me!!!

    Thursday, August 14, 2003

    Week In Review

    Friday, August 8th

    Warm Reception

    Danielle and Ben's wedding celebration was wonderful. Their ballroom at Rush Creek had a gorgeous view of the golf course over which the sun set in brilliant shades of pinks and purples. We enjoyed champagne and hors d'oeuvres while they played a photo slide-show set to music and a video of the exchange of their vows in Las Vegas on February 8th of this year. The omnipresent strength of the adoration between those two warms your heart and brings tears to your eyes. I wish them a lifetime of happiness as their love grows stronger every day.

    Brian (Tuesday night volleyball league) and I went to the Sunshine Factory before the reception with light appetizers on the mind. We ordered a beer, chicken strips and nachos talked about the younger years. 40 minutes pass. The 4 tables that were seated 20 minutes after us already had their meals. Finally our waitress comes back around and I asked if she knew where our appetizers were. She checked with the kitchen and then informed us that they made the wrong type of nachos so they were now rushing the order. We had to get going or else risk being late to the reception so we cancelled the order. When she came back a minute later with the bill, I said, "We have a tab?" To this she coarsely said, thank you and walked away. No apology, no manager, no tip. We shouldn't have even paid the bill. I mailed them a strongly worded letter on Monday.

    Saturday, August 9th

    More Wedding Bliss

    Wendy and her bridesmaids met at David's Bridal at Har Mar at noon. We all fell in love with the dress she picked out! It flattered all of us and even the yellow worked with my gold undertones! Wendy tried on her wedding gown for us - it's breathtaking on her. Seriously - it's just HER! It's gorgeous! It helps that SHE'S gorgeous, but well, the combination is fabulous. Emily & I split a calzone at Old Chicago afterwards. They brought it out on 2 plates and instead of being one large calzone cut in half, it's like we each got our own small one! Quite tasty.

    Afterwards, I headed out to Danielle's for her after-wedding-barbecue. Her Mom really out did herself! There was fruit, salsa, salads, burgers, cheddarwursts, every beer imaginable - delightfully sinful! We played volleyball and adored the little ones ranging from 3 weeks to 6 years. Couldn't have asked for a more perfect afternoon!

    Baysides Blunders?

    Jill and I went to Sunsets for dinner. Was fantastic. We went back to her place for a few cocktails and then out to Baysides. The same people go there seemingly every day and sit in the same places. By this I mean that the Betsy guys were there as well as the really cute guy we've seen there 3 times now. We've only been there 3 times. It's too bad he's obnoxious because he is really easy on the eyes. In true Baysides form, there were a few notable happenings:

  • It's important to note that I've run into Ryan several times at these bars even though I'd really rather not and that he's wearing a visor 99% of the time. Jill was teasing me about my visor-loving-traits since about 33% of the guys were sporting them. Of course after she pointed this out to me, every single guy in the bar looked exactly like Ryan. Talk about paranoia. Sheesh.
  • Miller light was having a contest wherein you pulled a label from a very tired-of-this-gig girl in a bikini. I pulled one and won? a visor. Not a t-shirt. Not a hat. Not a beer. A visor. Jill didn't win anything but nobody's a loser as she got a good hearty laugh out of the sight of me and my miller light visor.
  • We're approached by a 5'6-something red-head. He opens conversation by asking, "So, how much do you girls need to make tonight?" I said, "What?!" He explains that they're on this boat and are looking for some girls-gone-wild type stuff and how they can pay our car payment and our house payment. We're laughing at him while letting him go on with his spiel, but finally I interrupted him saying we didn't need any money, thanks anyway. He says, so you already have a pool? I said, yeah, at which house!? I'm laughing pretty hard now and he's getting angry. I look at the guys behind us and say, do you hear this guy?!? They say, yeah, he's with us! More hysterics follow and now the red-head is really getting mad. Jill pulls me away as I'm seriously paralyzed with laughter. The sad thing is that this probably has worked in the past and likely will again. Unreal.
  • Enter Guy. Not just any guy, a guy named Guy. He's cute in that dude-from-Scream kind of way. The typical frat-boy. We end up hanging out with his group. They're a lot of fun at first. They notice that Jill resembles Sarah Jessica Parker right away. Everything is great until that guy, Guy, tells Jill that she hides behind that Sarah Jessica thing and that she likes it. She doesn't. I got mad they were dissing my girl and we left. We returned to her house, ate our Sunsets left-overs and I went home.

    Sunday, August 10th

    Breakfast with Becky

    After about an hour of sleep, I met Becky at IHOP for breakfast. She's due next month. She's the most adorable pregnant gal on the planet! I really miss her. I wish she didn't live 5 hours away! They moved into their new place now and are really excited about it. It's a 2 level with a loft and plenty of room for baby and them. Thank God for old friends. I just love her.

    Bowling Badly

    The On-track Pro Shop Invitational (bowling tournament) started at 10am in Eden Prairie. You bowl 2 games at 5 venues and take the total of the best 4 of 5 + handicap for a chance at $2,000. I arrived full of IHOP pancakes and just a tad hung-over. I should add that I had my ball re-drilled on Friday as my thumb shrunk. 2nd game - 8th frame: I bowl, the ball fails to come off my hand. I fall. I somehow managed to save my left knee from being pummeled by 14 lb. ball. Some people are finished bowling and I've drawn quite the crowd. My ball was stuck so badly I had to put it in the ball return and literally rip my fingers out of it. When they say "be one with the ball," I don't think that's what they meant. I wasn't able to recover from that. Both games were under my average, but I still had a chance if I did well at New Hope at 2. I can blame to guy who was hitting on me relentlessly the entire time. I answered his advances with, "It's Sunday morning!" Anyway? I didn't do any better at New Hope.

    I was so full from IHOP and so tired from my all-nighter that I couldn't even finish my first plate at the Great Mandarin! As we were leaving, the waiter said to me, "You don't eat much do you?" I explained I didn't feel well and usually can finish 2 plates and expressed my true and utter sadness that I wasn't even able to go back up for that fried sugar roll that I love so dearly. Oh the travesty!

    Volley Follies

    I went to Be-bops at 6 to play volleyball with the Buffalo Wild Wings team. Imagine my surprise when I opened my trunk to retrieve my volleyball and found a mysterious bottle of scotch. Apparently, I ended up with that guy, Guy's bottle of scotch. Nice that I've gone the route of thievery and that I didn't recall so much until I saw the bottle. <kicking self in head> We lost all 3 unfortunately, but it was fun anyway. I'm finding it's pretty impossible not to have fun playing volleyball. Jill and Jill S. came up to see us play since we usually stay after and play for a few hours. Wouldn't you know it's the first night since June that nobody wanted to stay to play! Jill, Jill, Ryan and I had fun anyway sharing stories. Well, I didn't actually manage to get any telling stories out of him, but he's coming to the Saints game on Saturday so I'll have my chance then! The scotch tale made it out on the table and we decided it has become my first trophy and from now on will have to buy a hutch to store them in so that later I can reflect on all of the boys who managed to piss me off. So if you make me mad, you might want to lock up the whiskey.

    Monday, August 11th

    Running Route

    Accomplishment: Longest run I've ever completed straight through. I took the Cedar Lake Trail from its starting point (Northwest Athletic Club on Highway 100 and 394) all the way to the Target Center and back. According to my map it was about 4 miles to the city so I was thinking 8 miles would take me about an hour and 10 minutes. It had to be more like 10 miles because it took me almost 90 minutes and I'm positive I was running at the very least a 9 minute-mile pace. Anyway, I love the trail but it's definitely a day-run. The sun started to set and I started to get nervous.

    Tuesday, August 12th

    Bad Tire

    I've been having to put air in my rear-passenger tire for about a month. Not to be outdone, my front tires went bald. But the prospect of 4 new tires is out of my financial bounds at the moment. You can probably guess what's coming? Jill and I had a 4:45 appointment at One Ten Grant to view an apartment. I was planning on getting to her work at 4:15. I'm cruising along 35W when I start to smell something. Remembering my tire, I turned my radio off and assessed the smoothness of the ride. All seemed well even swerving slightly to test the water. There was a semi next to me so I decided it must be him. I resumed singing along to my radio. About 1/2 mile later there's this white van right on my tail and he flashes his brights on me. I stand corrected, the smell must be my tire. I immediately pull off on the next exit and off to the side. I pull my e-brake, look up and there goes the meat of my tire bouncing and rolling its merry way up the off ramp. I called Jill and let her know I'd be late and asked her to call the apartment and let them know. I went into NASCAR mode and unpacked the 50 zillion pieces of sports equipment from my trunk and prepared the spare. I got the tire changed in a record 16 minutes! I got to Jill's work at 4:30 and arrived at One Ten Grant not a second late. The apartment was very nice - small rooms and closets but a breathtaking view of Loring Park. Also a 100 square foot balcony from which you can grill. The pool area is fantastic as well because they install a dome over it during the winter for year-long enjoyment. Afterwards we had Thai food at The King and I which is right downstairs. We plotted all the times we'd end up getting take-out and how dangerous that would be! She stayed for volleyball and then to Rosen's for some we-won-all-three cocktails. We stopped at the Hopkins Dairy Queen on the way to the park-n-ride. Mud Pie Blizzards are quite possibly the perfect food!

    I got 4 new tires yesterday. I'm also $672 poorer. That hurts! It likely means I won't be able to go to Vegas for Debby's wedding in September. #&$*@! The only good news is that I thought I had engine issues - hesitation, etc. Turns out it was just the bald tires. Why don't they make rogaine for wheels??

    Th-th-that's All Folks!

    So that's really the excitement for the past week although you might agree that it's really plenty. I hope things slow down soon but I doubt it since softball's just starting and school starts in less than 3 weeks. Tomorrow's my first softball game in Apple Valley and Saturday morning is the Gopher vs. Badger 5K - wish me luck! Mom is staying in Hudson with me and we're having lunch after the race. I can't wait! For the lunch, not the race :) Saturday night Mandy, Scot, Jill, Ryan and I plus possibly JJ are going to the Saints game - will be mad fun. Sunday is Hoosier Daddy's first game! We haven't practiced so it might be interesting but fun none-the-less.

    Hope you have a great weekend! Thanks for those of you who've been checking the site lately and sorry for my lack of updating. I'll try to do better for several reasons: A) I don't want you to get bored of seeing the same post and decide never to come back; B) It's really hard to remember what happened yesterday much less 6 days ago; and C) According to Microsoft Word I've just typed the 2,199th word. That's ridiculous.

  • Friday, August 08, 2003

    What Happened to Wednesday and Thursday??

    Holy crap I've been busy. And I'm always busy so it's more like manic.

    I let Sam know over the weekend that it was her choice for lunch on Tuesday. Heather tried to call me to warn me about Sam's decision, but I hadn't heard my phone ring en route to the house... When I got there, she explained that Jeremy & Mitchell suggested Red Lobster. Sam thought that sounded good, but wasn't sure if that was in our price range. So she came up with Old Country Buffet. I don't have anything against buffets - in fact I'm excited to be in a bowling tournament on Sunday in Eden Prairie not because of the chance at the $2,000, but because that means lunch at the Great Mandarin buffet afterwards. The problem with OCB, is that well, it's not chinese food. It's also not seafood. And so in the end, I (we) decided it was worth the extra cash for crab legs. We were not disappointed!

    I think I may have to have a shellfish lunch every Tuesday as the volleyball courts treated me quite well. Afterwards, we had wings and beer at Rosen's as promised. There were 4 of us drinking and we managed to drain 5 pitchers. Also, it was my fault as for some reason beer was going down like water. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the ball playing or Scott's joke telling talents. Nor our Magic Stick duet. Seriously that guy is a riot. Ben administered his famous, possibly recently retired, sobriety test. It consists of a swift smack to the forehead to gauge the person's reaction time and coordination. I passed the test, but due to the minor whiplash I'd acquired while diving for a ball, it hurt my neck bad enough to cause tears to well up. I got ice and felt better about 20 minutes later. Looking back on it, it's a good thing he did said test as surely it had sobered me up and after consuming a pitcher of beer myself, I probably needed the jolt. Managed to get to work shortly after 9 which is good considering the pitcher of beer and late late night watching Monty Python.

    I went to the Team in Training meeting on Thursday. It's kind of a cool program and would be a great help in training for a marathon, but you have to raise $4700 in order to go to Hawaii for the race. The thing is, if you don't raise that much, you lose out on the whole deal and they get to keep the money. It's for a great cause, but I have too much on my plate as it is without having to fundraise like a mad woman and train for the 26.2 miles in December. Also, I'm not sure if I'm really wanting to be that "good" during the holidays. The most intense training would be happening over Thanksgiving. Plus, I think I'd rather train on my own which would really make the accomplishment mine. I can always do Hawaii next year.

    After the meeting I went to Jill's and had her Mom's spaghetti and margaritas. It was so good! I even got leftovers!!! We made a pre-trip bitch fight... note to self: next time do the mixing after adding the ice - holy crap they were strong. We went to Baysides and enjoyed the perfect weather by the water.

    Notable exchanges:

  • Guy who insisted I was Betsy - who was the reason his friend and his wife wouldn't come out that night. Seemed he was implying something happened between this "Betsy" and his "friend". I'm using quotes because I'm pretty sure neither existed. The guy's friend was looking at him disapprovingly. He introduces himself and I shook his hand saying, "I'm Betsy." The joke was wasted on him as he actually became defensive and put out. It's amazing this guy's single! I'll bet there are Betsy's everywhere in search of a guy with awful pick up lines and no sense of humor.
  • We escape the Betsy guys and find a table. Guy asks if he can sit with us for 1 beer of which he has a full one. There are 6 chairs, 2 of us, we say sure. He explains he is a former carpenter, current set designer of some sort. He's quite consumed with himself, even more than he is with Jill. He still hasn't taken even a sip of his beer. I start to devise a plan to knock over said beer to rescue friend in need.
  • He no later leaves when another guy introduces himself and starts up a conversation. That is if you can call it that. It seemed we spoke another language. He left after a few minutes.
  • Jill and I were consumed in conversation when this 30-something gal sits down and explains that she has a cute friend who would really like to talk to us, would it be OK for him to sit down. It was guy #3. So he sits down and asks us what we're doing there. We explain we came for a cocktail. He counters saying that everybody comes for some reason and inquires again. I explained in no uncertain terms that not everyone is looking for something or has ulterior motives. He tries to say that's not what he meant but he manages to ask the question again. And again. He was such a bonehead he even made Jill want to go and that's pretty rare.

    We escaped, laughed all the way home and expressed our excitement to get our place downtown. We're looking at the first one on Tuesday!

    Tonight is Danielle and Ben's reception at Rush Creek. It's going to be a great time! Tomorrow I see Becky and Amy Rorvick (yay!) and then an afternoon of bridesmaids' dress shopping with Wendy and her girls. Jill & I will be hanging out by the lake again into the wee hours of the morning I'm sure. Sunday begins the bowling tournament - wish me luck! It starts at 10am in Eden Prairie so I talked my Mom into meeting me at the Great Mandarin for the best Chinese Buffet since LeeAnn Chin's Bonaventure. Then it's 2pm at New Hope! Wish me luck! I'm playing volleyball at Be-bops again on Sunday night. This time I will try not to stay out quite so late.

    Hope you have a great weekend!

  • Monday, July 07, 2003

    Hazing Holiday

    If I didn't know any better, I might believe I've just been through a hazing. Yikes.

    Wednesday at the Waterfront

    I picked Jill up after work and headed straight for Chipotle in St. Paul. We arrived at 4:07pm. They close at 4pm. What?! Disgusted, we called Mike for another suggestion since he works in the area. He pointed us to Cosseta's. We had penne with pesto which was good albeit swimming in olive oil and guaranteed to clog at least 3 arteries. We began walking towards Harriet Island keeping our eyes peeled for the "trolleys" promised by the Taste of MN website. We finally saw one when we arrived in the midway. We headed over to the Drive 105 stage for Tim Mahoney. It was hot. The kind of hot that makes you wish clothing were optional. He played some of his old songs mixed in with the new. I don't know any of his new stuff and it seemed neither did most of the crowd. It would have been much more enjoyable if our feet weren't throbbing and our skin not melting. We walked around the food stands and decided to treat ourselves to ice cream, Martha's cookies and a pickle wrap. We caught some of the Wallflowers and then gave into our agonizing feet and headed back to the car. We met up with Emily, Wendy, Susie and Dan at Bentley's at 10. Wendy and Chad are engaged!! Her ring is absolutely beautiful, but it has nothing on the glow and that million dollar smile she had when she told us the news. Chad joined us eventually as did some of the usual crew. At about midnight, I brought Jill to her park-n-ride and went back to Dan's for a few more. He has a new kitten so we had fun antagonizing him. I think I hit the couch at 3am.

    Thirsty Thursday

    You know it's bad when you know you had to get up early on Thursday but can't for the life of you remember why. I just know I meant to get up at 7, ended up "sleeping in" until 8:30 and headed home. The morning is a little blurry but I know I went for a run because it was extremely hot - to the point where halfway through my run I thought I was going to be sick. Met Jill for lunch at Chipotle (I will NOT be denied). Even writing about it makes me want it now! OK enough already, ate way too much and headed home, then to pick up the water-skis. Afterwards, went to Jill's for some sunbathing action. Cleaned up and headed to Ridgedale at 6. Jill called en route and happened to be heading the same direction. We met up at Marshall Fields. Did some damage and ate at the Big Bowl (v. excellent). The Mai Thai made us want more so we went to Fletcher's. We were taking it easy since we had a big weekend ahead of us. We didn't end up taking it easy after all. Word to the wise: Never, and I mean ever, start a tab at Fletcher's. So we ran into Ryan's group. Talked to John and Dave from the UK awhile and then they headed to the Narrows. Shortly thereafter we ran into the group we met on Memorial Day which happened to be my first Fletcher's experience. We closed the bar down and since they live 3 doors down from Jill, joined them for an after-bar refreshment. Luke's brother was hitting on me pretty hard core and wouldn't let up even to talk about football. The routine was getting tiring so I decided to go home which translated into going to dumbass's. Only thing I can say is it's gotten out of hand. I had fun, but I'm not myself when I'm around them so I've done a gut check. No time for the drama. I'm realizing that if you look hard enough, you see what you want to see and that can work for you as much as against you given the situation.

    Freaky Friday

    Slept through alarm. Was supposed to be helping Chad move. Called and left messages but didn't know where they were so instead went home and ran the cobwebs off. Headed up to Grandpa's, ate way too much again and played Taboo with Shari and Mom. Watched fantastic fireworks display thinking it was the real deal only to find out it was a private party's work. They must have spent 10 K I'm serious. Think grand finale for 35 minutes straight. When the festival's fireworks began we were torn between which set to watch! I headed home at about 11. Heather & Mike's party was well underway. In fact, Mike crashed about 5 minutes after I got there. Heather lasted another hour and I stayed up until about 4:30am with Shannon, Dana and his girlfriend. Dana is a wildman riot. Seriously, need a good laugh? Invite him over. I have pictures to prove it.

    Sipping Saturday

    Got to Jill's at 10:15, headed to Mandy's lakehome in Darwin, MN. Ate lunch, went on a boat ride, floated in the water, played some volleyball, pontoon ride/cooler dancing. Mad fun. Lots of food, beer and laughter. Is there any more to life? I think not. Us kids went to the VFW for some dancing, drinking and country boy spoiling. Mandy bruised her knees doing her signature dancing move (really it's not as bad as it might sound) and I did 2 flips on the dance floor. Why? Why? Why? Scott was such a great sport. Not only was he a non-complaining-sober-cab, he was out there dancing and carousing with the rest of us. What a guy! When we arrived home, Jill and I stayed up until 3 talking to Mandy's Mom. They're just a hoot - what a wonderful family. Have had just excellent company this holiday.

    Sober Sunday

    Crap, I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be sober! But seriously, Jill & I left at about noon and headed to her parents to burn some CDs. Afterwards we had dinner at the Claddagh and actually made it an early night! I got home and did laundry, went for a run and much needed sit-ups/weight lifting.

    And here we are at Maddening Monday. Have a 3pm doc appointment to check out the wrist. Pain is pretty bad now and several people have suggested it might be a stress fracture. Please pray for me as I cannot afford to have a stress fracture. Don't they realize I have 2 softball games this week and a volleyball tournament on Sunday? Sheesh!

    Hope you all had a great 4th - hope someone got some sleep for me!!!

    Tuesday, June 24, 2003

    The Wisdom of John Cougar Mellencamp

    "Baby, baby don't misunderstand me". That has to be the theme for the past week. Or maybe "I need a lover that won't drive me crazy". About 1,000 songs come to mind, but seriously.

    To My Peeps:

    This is a weird time for me. I've defined myself for the past 3 years based on someone else. Our dreams, our goals, our life. That's changed. I'm still the same person inside, I still have the same dreams and desires, but the definition of myself has changed slightly. Partly just inherent to the situation, but mostly because I finally saw that it needed to. I'm a giver. I like that about me but so many times I give too much of myself away. I'm working hard to keep things in check - I've got to take care of me first. This doesn't mean being completely selfish, I couldn't live with myself then, but if I don't take care of me, I can't expect anyone else to. I neglected my girlfriends which I have vowed never to do again. It's so easy to say and strangely difficult to do, but I can't let boys get in the way of my girls. They're the ones who will be there when the boy is nowhere to be found. I'm trying to find my center. I feel like I'm all over the place right now - sometimes I think I have everything figured out and then 5 minutes later I'm wondering which way is up. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm going to need some slack until I'm once again comfortable in my skin. I'm sorry I don't make sense sometimes and I'm sorry if I've made bad decisions. But ultimately, they're mine and I'll take responsibility for them. I just hope you'll understand that the basis on which I'm making said decisions is changing right now and I just might not be very consistent a little while longer. I'll get there though - I will. And please don't misunderstand my showing of strength. I'm good at exuding confidence and well-being. But I still need you. I need a hug once in awhile. Most of all I need your approval and support. And apparently help staying away from Jägermeister.

    Love and straight jackets,

    PS. Heather & I talked about June 16th's post last night. The tone in which I said "she sort of apologized" didn't come through in black and white. It wasn't sarcastic in the least. I know that things that I write here are subject to interpretation and misrepresentation and I'm usually really careful about that. The only explanation I have is that the past 2 weeks have been extremely difficult for me. There's been a lot of hurt and confusion and subsequent disproportionate emotions. Guess what I'm trying to say is I've been having a hard time keeping things into perspective. I understand her irritation and how what was written could be taken the wrong way, but I also hope she understands that this is what it is - just a blog and if something did bother me enough to be upset about, I would talk to her about it. We were frustrated at the time but it passed - everyone was drinking - shit happens. I honestly didn't think much of it afterwards - I mean it sucked, no doubt about it, but I wasn't losing sleep over it. I only wrote about it because it happened - not to be vindictive or to put anyone down. I love her too much to be mad at her over that. I need her too much to sweat the small stuff. The root of the problem really doesn't have anything to do with any of this but we talked about that, too. It's really hard when your former boyfriend is keeping close contact i.e. came over and hung out with your cousin who is your best friend and happens to live where you live. It's difficult not to feel - for lack of a better word - betrayed. Take that lightly. It's just a stupid emotion and I know it's not intended. It's something I'm learning how to deal with. So things will be better from now on. I just gotta believe!

    I'll write about the weekend later - I think I'll let this sink in first.

    Thursday, June 19, 2003

    Magnificent And Other Superlatives

    What a life. I've experienced "The Lake Effect" first-hand. Oh, it's real! & once it has you in its grip you might as well stop fighting it - resistance is futile. Seriously, it was a perfect day. I never did attempt that slalom but it's just as well. We cruised around for awhile and anchored in calm waters. The intention was to hang for awhile and eventually get around to skiing, but it's easy to lose track of time when the sun is shining and the beer's tasting good. I'm free to do that again anytime. I'd even call in sick to softball, but shhh, don't tell anyone.

    So in the end I didn't need any ace bandages or crutches. Instead I introduced my passenger mirror to the tree in the middle of his driveway. Not to worry, it's minor enough that I can still see out of it. Yeah, I'll be backing into the driveway next time. At least then if I hit the tree, the mirrors are designed to flip that way. I scare myself with rationalizations like that.

    After the mirror and the tree were acquainted, I went out to Fletcher's with Jill Hyser. Dinner was great and we made plans for the weekend. Jill gets her car stereo installed on Saturday! Then she can rock out to Justin Timberlake on the way to work :) Hahaha

    Wednesday, June 11, 2003

    Falling Away From Me

    I've been pretty conflicted lately about what to post and what not to. I mean, sometimes I don't really know what the point is anyway. Unless it's something humorous or embarrassing, it's likely pretty uninteresting for those of you readers who weren't involved. But at the same time I realize that getting my feelings out there gives me some peace; some deceptive validation that somehow maybe I'm not so out of line or alone.

    And what I found today is that reading through the archives can give me an interesting insight as to how I got to right here right now. What Kelly & I had has completely disintegrated and lately, I've been wondering when it was that I let go of the dreams we had when we were together. When we went our separate ways in April, there were still moments of lucidity. Moments when we'd discuss his plans and what each other wanted. Times when the softness came through the pain I saw in his eyes and I felt a sting in my heart and thought that maybe there was hope for us after all. And then we'd be apart. And I felt unburdened and - fine I'll admit it - excited to be me without the pressure of worrying about how that will affect someone else. It was like learning who I was all over again. And then we'd see each other at volleyball and he'd drink and his bitterness would show through his attitude. He literally would not say a kind word to me or to our friends. Everything was laced with sarcasm and cynicism. Ism's that in moderation can be funny, but you can have too much of a good thing. A few weeks ago we rode to volleyball together and when we got back to his place he asked if I'd stay and chat awhile. I obliged. We talked about work mostly. No matter what I said, he argued with me. I'd agree with him and then he'd disagree with me which by deduction is to disagree with himself. Beyond that his tone was rude and condescending. I blew it off at first. I mean, I know he's not trying to be this way. He's just having a hard time controlling his reactions. But finally I realized that if I stuck around I was only going to end up angry and that wouldn't get either one of us anywhere. I think that was when I accepted that there really isn't any turning back. He is far too hurt to think clearly when he sees me. Our interactions will never be up to his expectations and he'll leave feeling unfulfilled and unloved. And that's not fair to either of us.

    And besides that, I'm comfortable saying that I did all that I could do. I know I tried everything I could to stay together - to keep the spark lit. I laid all of my cards out on the table. I clearly stated what I needed and what I was willing to do and asked for any other/better ideas. I asked him to think about what he needs and what I could do to make things easier for him because I felt that maybe he was feeling unfulfilled which was making him act out in other ways. He made promises that he wasn't able to keep and I was left feeling resentment for keeping mine. This cycle repeated several times over the last 18 months until the last time I was left not feeling resentment but closure. So why do I have to feel responsible for his sorrow now? What about my pain back then? I'm feeling like some of my friends and family aren't behind me. That they don't understand why I broke up with such a nice guy. Kelly is a nice guy - he's a fantastic guy. When he gets his shit together, he's going to make someone extremely happy. But in the end, I realized that just because he's not a bad guy, doesn't mean he's the right guy. Why should I settle? What about me requires me to sacrifice myself? I'm loyal to a fault and that is possible. I'll stay until I absolutely have exhausted every facet of myself in trying to make things work. Sometimes you have to do what is right for you. Sometimes nobody else will.

    Well that turned into a venting session. I have reservations about posting this and I'll give Kelly a fair warning in case he's still checking this site. I really don't want to cause him any more pain. But this is my website and if I'm not who I am on my website, then it's really pretty obsolete.

    So while I might clean it up for my parents and I try not to embarrass my friends here, I guess I've come to realize that no matter what I do, some of this content will hurt Kelly and there's not much I can do about it barring shutting it down completely. So I give you my apology and anyone else who's been in his place. Please don't misunderstand me - I'm not trying to be vicious. But I gotta be me.

    Friday, May 09, 2003

    The Best Damn Dating Advice Period

    OMG! Of all of the dating advice I have heard, this bit is notebook worthy!

    5 Secrets to a Perfect Relationship

    1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

    2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

    3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

    4. It is important that a man is good in bed and loves making love to you.

    5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

    Monday, March 31, 2003

    The Top 3 Reasons I'm a Lucky Lady

  • I got breakfast in bed last weekend
  • Even after I went out with the girls
  • And forgot that I promised him a Friday Night Fish Fry.

    Sometimes it's easy to forget what you've got when you see it every day.

    You're da bomb baby!

  • Monday, February 17, 2003

    Flashback to Thursday

    I went out with my friend Jill last Thursday for ladies night. I decided it'd be a good idea to drink martinis. Since they had juice in them I discounted them as normal drinks tastefully disguised in martini glasses. They were in fact, martinis. Anyway, here is a funny tidbit from our discussions: when the other Jill was a child, she noticed that her parents "stored" tennis balls between their headboard and the wall so she naturally thought that this was the way the world should be and began storing tennis balls behind her headboard as well. This seemed normal until last year when she had a revelation and finally figured out WHY her parents stored the tennis balls behind their headboard.

    Also I realized I'm still naive as hell. Our waiter was very good looking and the Jills thought so too. They're both single, so I started conversations with him drawing his attention to my ladies (yes, Cari the pimp). There was much giggling so I thought this to be good. After last call I went to the bar to order a water. The waiter was there. He got my attention and we started talking. I asked him if he had a girlfriend, then quickly I said, don't get the wrong idea, I'm not hitting on you, I have a boyfriend. So comfortably, we discussed girls, the world, etc. To me it felt like we were old college buds. So I downed my H20 and us girls turn to leave. It comes up that his car is 2 blocks away and somehow it made sense to offer him a ride. He's impressed by my football emblems and then by the football talk as well as the stick-shift saying he doesn't know any girls like that (this should have been my cue to stop the car and jump right?). So we get to his car and he tries to kiss me the damn fool. So yeah, Berger's naive but hey, Berger's still got it.

    Thursday, February 06, 2003

    Here's a Pick-up Line You Should Try

    Gigantic Man (GM):....I'd like to buy you two a drink.
    S smiles:....Thanks!
    J knows a purchased drink actually means purchased conversation:....Elbows S.
    GM:....Blah blah blah blah
    S:....Blah blah blah blah blah
    J:....Rolls eyes and makes gag gesture.
    <enter> Smaller Man (SM):....Hey, how've you guys been?!
    S:....[insert meaningless smalltalk here]
    GM to J:....You know, I just got out of jail and in the bighouse, a guy like that would be my bitch.
    J is wide-eyed and speechless.
    GM leaves in a prima donna huff.

    Wednesday, June 19, 2002

    Thing 1 and Thing 2

    A card was anxiously waiting for Kelly in his truck this morning. It pictured Thing 1 and Thing 2 and was completely blank inside except for a little poem I wrote him. I thought maybe someday we might want to look back on it so here it is to share with the world...

    There's something funny about Thing 1 and Thing 2
    It's always been there, I just never knew
    Thing 1 makes Thing 2, makes me and makes you
    Thing 1 started small, but it grew and it grew

    Sometimes Thing 2 can become such a zoo
    that it's easy to forget what Thing 1 can do
    So I'm writing you now to remind only you
    That I give you Thing 1 every day in Thing 2

    So you might be wondering what are these Things?
    What could it be to my life that you bring?
    Thing 1 is my love and it's all through my heart
    Thing 2 is this life that we've just begun to start

    Thursday, April 04, 2002

    The only thing the IRS has not yet taxed

    is the penis.

    This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off, and 10% of the time it's in the hole.

    It has two dependents, but they're nuts.

    Effective January 1, 2003, Penises will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:
    10"-12" Luxury Tax
    8"-10" Pole Tax
    5"-8" Privilege Tax
    4"-5" Nuisance Tax

    Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains.

    Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund.


    Issues still under consideration are as follows:
    Are there penalties for early withdrawal?
    Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
    Are condoms deductible as work clothes?

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